Brother Frank's testimony "I Went From Selling "dope" To Selling "hope"" on 11/04/2013, 10:40am...
I WENT FROM SELLING "DOPE" TO SELLING "HOPE"
Before I chose to walk with God I idolized other people and worldly possessions. I needed to feel in control. I needed to feel powerful in others eyes. I made extremely bad decisions through this lonely and destructive time of my life. I chose to run with a dangerous crowd and sell drugs. Sadly I believed at that time I was a success. I drove beautiful cars, Mercedes, BMW, Corvettes, had beautiful girlfriends, whatever clothes or materials I wanted and money in my pockets. I had so much money at one point I had to start hiding it under my mattress. I thought this would bring me all the happiness and fulfillment I could ever want. I was so wrong. It was never enough. My soul was spiritually bankrupt. I did not trust anyone. I lived with fear and paranoia daily. I did not treat others well including my parents and people in my life I was supposed care about. I was selfish and self-destructive. I steam rolled over others to get my way and my needs met. There’s a saying “he sold his soul to the devil”. I completely relate to it.
Regardless of all the money I had and all the so-called powerful people and connections I knew I was so empty inside. I turned to drugs and alcohol to numb my pain. Cocaine was my drug of choice and Jack Daniels my drink of choice. The high felt wonderful at the time and the lows were so low that I could not look at myself in the mirror the next day. I was on a chaotic evil destructive cycle and I was taking everyone around that loved me down with me. The tears and sleepless nights I caused my loved ones did not matter because my life was only about me. I was arrested for my drug dealing and spent a few years in prison. I was still so misguided that I blamed everyone else for this. The police, the state attorney, they were all out to get me. I got out of jail and spent years blaming others and continuously hurting others due to my selfishness and lack of Christ in my life.
I was born and raised Catholic and I believed in Jesus but I never understood what it was to have a true relationship with him. My first step with connecting with Jesus was through a Christian television show; I saw Joel Osteen on television and was intrigued by his positive messages and his faith and belief in Jesus. Still deep down inside I felt this relationship was what God meant for others not for me. I was such a sinner and had made so many bad decisions in my life there was no way God would want this same relationship with me. This past spring I made the decision to go to church with a friend. Honestly I may have been doing it to stop the nagging. I figured I would go once and get it over with. After all I was already close to Jesus so I thought.I watched the TV shows. We walked into the church and that sermon was the beginning of my true walk with Christ. The pastor was telling us his life history. He had actually been in trouble with the law when he was younger. I understood then that God was reaching out to me yet again and genuinely loved me even with all my sins. I felt such a peace come over me. It was surreal. This was a pure and beautiful peace. I felt hope and love. This marked the beginning of my true journey to walk with Christ.
I know now Jesus has always been with me. It was I that turned my back on him. I use to run away from Jesus and now I run as fast as I can towards him. It was I that chose the evil ways. Jesus was always waiting for me with open arms to choose him instead. I am blessed to walk with Jesus now. This love, peace and understanding fill my heart every day. The bible is the most important “material” in my life now. My relationship with Jesus is now more important than any other in this world. Since I have chosen to walk with Jesus I am now healing from so many past negative decisions. I am prospering in his love and his word. Past relationships I thought could never be mended are now being repaired. Behavior I thought I could never change is. There is such a spiritual peace and well-being in my life it beats out the most expensive “Mercedes” or “Air Jordan's” any day. Jesus has performed a miracle in my life and I thank him every day.
I know now my true purpose in life is to bring my experiences to others that have or faced similar struggles and to guide them to Jesus’ love and protection. It is my mission to help others find that true relationship and walk in Jesus’ name. I am looking forward to volunteering in The Prison Fellowship in order to share God's word.
God Bless and remember Jesus is waiting for you. He loves you and is ready to work miracles in your life as well, Open your heart to him. For me it is not an opportunity to serve God, It is an obligation.