Wcbillabong's testimony "God Never Let Go Of Me..." on 3/22/2016, 1:04pm...
(If you are going through something like this, I know you would
understand. All thought we all handle crisis our own way. If not,
please donít judge me without first walking a few miles in my shoes.)
For the first time it feels like Iím ready to tell my story,
well at least the ending part...standing at a new beginning
in my life, trusting my all to God, I canít help but look back
and thank God for the last year of my life. Yes it hurts like
nothing before, but I have never felt so close to the Lord like
I opened what I never should have opened, in front of me all
the websites my (then) hubby was registered on. All offering
NSA sex. I stands for No-strings-attach sex, had to Google the
meaning of the word! List and list of names of women he
have spent the night or an hour or two with was all I could see.
I called my parents, told them what Iíve seen. Disconnected the
computer and went to watch a home movie with my three lovely
kids...I just went on as if nothing has happened.
It went on like this for some time. Almost like I was typing information
on a keyboard but the cable was disconnected to my brain and heart
processor. I soon discovered that my husband was sleeping with any
woman who was willing to, no matter her race, weight, age or looks.
If he couldnít find a lady willing to do it for free, he would go to a prostitute.
I discovered that he even cheated on me several times while I was waiting
willingly for him in our hotel room.
The not so high credit card was maxed out. The credit card he got in the mail
and was planning on closing immediately, was also almost full. He didnít use
protection and the changes of me having aids were very good. In a split second
my whole world was turned upside down. But it still did not hit home, I even
told all of this to my closest girl friend without crying.
When the keyboard cable was finally connected, the information was too much
to process and the whole system just shut down. I didnít eat, I didnít sleep,
I did nothing! Taking care of the kids was too much for me, getting dress wasnít
An option (clean PJís would have to do) and who cares about the house or garden
when your life just ended. I died that day!
If you never have been there, donít even try to imagine how it feels. No words
can ever describe the pain. I was one of the lucky ones, I had so many people
helping and supporting me, but most important thing they did was: PRAY FOR
ME! I could feel Godís presence all the time, even when all I had to offer was
tears. God never left me alone for even a second.
Today I writing this as a divorced (I did pray about it for a long time) lady,
(by the way aids free) starting over, knowing that God is all I really need.
One thing I take with me from this pain is living one day at a time.
Gasping the day with both hands and cherishing all the little moments.
Thank you Lord, You never let go of me...