Jordan's testimony "Being-good-at-being-bad" on 3/24/2013, 6:42pm...
My name is Jordan and I am seventeen years old, a senior at Chesnee High, and this is my testimony. When I was around five years old, I was baptized. My home church rejoiced my coming into God's kingdom, but looking back, that's not what happened. I mean I believed in God and loved what Jesus did for me but my life did not match up. As soon as I hit middle school, temptations took over me and I began to lose track of my Christian values. It started small. I began hanging with a crowd of non believers, and soon their habits also became my habits. I found myself cussing and bullying people and being a complete snob to be honest. I would walk into church on weekends and just block out whatever was said, it had become familiar to me. I no longer cared or thought what was said was relevant.
Pretty soon I started trying different things. I would say I was a Christian but be out with my friends smoking cigarettes, dipping, drinking and cussing on the weekends. In seventh grade, I cussed my Spanish teacher out and was in more trouble that year than imaginable. I was disrespectful to my parents and mocked people who were "goody goody" when I myself PROCLAIMED to be a follower of Christ.
Finally, high school came and the summer going into it, I had a major revolution at centrifuge ridgecrest. I gave my life over back to Christ and I was determined to live for him. I was so proud and told all of my Christian friends of this monumental decision. Then school came around, and it was as if nothing changed. My tenth grade year, I found myself partying every weekend. I was getting completely wasted and high and messing around with girls while still proclaiming To be a Christian. I was a porn addict and could not stand to be around my parents and was just hateful to everyone.
However, tenth grade summer I rededicated my life to Christ again. I was shortly the Sunday school president and a big leader in my youth group. I was talking to people about God and leading devotions at church. But on the weekends, I would be getting high with my friends, and wasted out of my mind. Then I would walk into FCA and profess to kids about God and not partying and cussing. The thing was is that these kids had just seen me passed out drunk in a car a few days before. Then it finally hit me: I was trying to cover up my wrongs with rights. I was living like Hell through the week and come Sunday expect God to forgive all I've done without true repentance. I had thought being a good person would substitute for the fact that I did not have a true relationship with God.
Every good tree bears good fruit and every bad tree bears bad fruit. It finally hit me that I was not a true Christian. That prayer I said when I was little was a "I don't want go to hell" prayer. By no means am I perfect today, and I face the same temptations.
However, no longer am I dead in that sin. It may be a struggle, but at least now I am fighting it with God's help. I don't know where you stand with your walk with God, and I don't need to know, but to be a Christian (a follower of Christ) you must walk and follow him. I wasn't walking towards him, I was walking away. I wasn't following him, I was following my sinful desires. Each one of us must make this decision, and I pray that you do not get stuck in the same rut I was in.