Testimony: A Life Without Love

bradley googe's testimony "A Life Without Love" on 11/12/2013, 6:54am...

well it started as a boy i'd assume. by age eight i was smoking ciggarettes, i had burned my neighbors property down, i had had little girls to do things that pleased me then that disgust me now, and i was sipping daddy's drink when he went to the bathroom. i was living in total torment. i thought everything was normal however, watching my daddy do these things. i'd watch him snort a line of cocaine or xanex bars, then let my two year old brother sit in his lap to roll joints of weed with him. my brother didn't smoke however, but for the rest of you previous smokers out there there is a contact high from being around the substance. but anyways, i remember six times i had watch my daddy do the xanex bars instead of the coke. i hated that. he would go crazy and start cutting my mother, usually leaving her crying on the bed. she would look over and scream at me to call the cops. daddy then (on all six times) put the gun to my face and threatened my life if i would call them.

not that bad of a life right? i mean there are worse scenarios. but this one gets worse. i continued in daddy's footsteps. i was breaking into my neighbors houses and smashing their windows to get their gold, drugs, and exposing magazines. i thought i was top dog of the world.

by nine i had aready been placed in defacs to switch families five or six times. this made me bitter inside. i started having sex and getting high everyday to get away from my problems. well it worked for that twenty minutes of pleasure, but when the high is gone the problems are back. i started walking to a small church called palmetto pentecostal. i soaked up the doctrine like a spunge. however, in my frequent troubles, my step-grandparents would ground me from coming to church. that rather confused me. so i got worse.
by thirteen i was stealing the car and going out to party every night. i would normally drive my sisters to some of her friends, just to take of of them with me for my own uses. i was a monster. i remember once i had walked 5 miles with my sister and her friend, dropped my sister off, then walked back with her friend. she told me all about how she'd gotten raped, abused, drugged up, and so on. she put faith in me that i would love her because i was so sweet to her little did she know i would do the same that night. i used her for my pleasure and left her asleep in a closet. when she woke i was gone.

i was getting out of hand with all my partying, drugs, sex, fights, and stealing, and anything else you could think of. well it got worse.

my step-grandma had made me mad so i punched her and watched her fall to the ground. i cussed her out and took off grabbing the shot gun. several times have i attempted to commit suicide with that gun, but this time i wanted murder. i calmed down after a long time of waiting for the police. it seemed soothing to know i was the way i was. it was empowering.

well eventually i returned and on my sixteenth birthda i was sent off to a childrens home. i joined Folk, which is of the three most know gangs. i enjoyed it because daddy was a crip. we were allies and we both hate bloods. like father like son right? so i continued in my ways completely destroying the childrens homes hope for peace, going to court, playing girls, and getting high. this was the life right?

that's when God stepped in. we were going to a abptist church that hosted easily three thousand. i tried to change but i couldnt feel nothing. everybody said i was saved because i had asked jesus into my heart and was now going to heaven. but i felt no different, only what mask i put on to cover what was on the inside. i started reading the bible. i found their beliefs were a little twisted, mixing scriptures to make it soothe their beliefs. but nobody in church read the bible i assume, because they all fell for this preachers words. but he was so nice. that was his charm. wasn't the devil also when he tricked adam and eve?

so i told God i wanted to change but that church wasn't doing it for me. so he moved me back to brunswick georgia with my grand mother. i hooked up with some old friends and went right back to my routine. but something was changing as i attended church. she visited the church about 5 times a week, twice being just to pray for an hour. i felt like there was were God dwelled. everything matched the word of God and everybody truely avoided sin. God said he shall not dwell in an unclean temple. when he spoke that, he didn't just mean us. he meant the church too.

so as i was slowly coming around, i was still partying hard. i was sneaking out her window, playing with girls, drinking liquor and just living life you know. i was seven-teen and it was new years time. i had a rranged a girl to meet me in her car in the highschool parking lot two days from then. i had another girl coming from another town to meet me in hers right after her. and while i was arranging this out, i was making out with some twenty one year old red head girl that i still can't recall the name of this day. but sin is only sweet for a season

God was dealing with me then. i was beginning to be depressed. i was an avid rapper and was even paid to rap battle. music was typiccally my get away but it wasn't working. i went to church on the day before the "car meet" and told god i was tired. i went up for prayer and the pastor laid hands on me. he begin to week with me. i never cried. but then i let it all out. with a combination of tears and snot rolling down my chest, God touched me and filled me with the holyghost (acts 2:38) and i begin to speak in tounges. (acts 2:3-4) it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. i prayed for four hours every night after that for about a week. God gave me rest. there was never a problem in life i took on my own and the drepression was naturally gone. i felt God and knew this was it. he spoke and said "soak it up, for it is good" this was the first time i'd ever heard God speak. i expected a loud roar. God gave me a small still voice as a whisper through the wind. i broke in tears knewing i was finally home. i had no worries and as long as i lean on him i never will.

i invite you to visit us and if you have any questions you can contact me in person or by email. remember, were at revival center church of Jesus Christ in brunswick Georgia. there's no place you'll ever find to match what you'll get hear. believe me.

thank you for reading, and God bless. email me for prayers and let me show you god will move for the cries of his people. in jesus name.

 

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