miss's testimony "A Grace And A Calling" on 9/23/2016, 2:35pm...
To begin with, my life has been ups and downs but God has used what was bad in my life to the best.
Through a vision in a dream God spoke to me to which I understand that it was a calling of God. the dream I saw one night when I was asleep, I saw an escalator in the middle of the blue sky going upwards. I saw that the escalator had no beginning but it had an end to it and in the top end of it was a very bright white light that had no darkness . I saw two different lines in the escalator which was going upwards. One side was the line of souls in black rob and on the other side was the souls clothed in complete white rob with no spot of black on them. I then found myself in the line of the souls clothed in black rob and to my right side where the line of souls in white rob.
I saw neither child, nor old, nor man nor woman, nor sick, nor ugly, nor beautiful, I didn't saw any physical form such as hands, eyes or anything of human form, nor any races, as here on earth, nor colors, neither black nor fair, nor rich, nor poor. As I close my eyes and just feel the complete me in the absence of physical body, my race, and gender such was the feeling. Just me in emotions.
And as I was approaching the top end of escalator, and I reached the to the very bright white light which brightness was brighter than the thousands of sun, the light being so bright I couldn't bear the brightness of the light at all. I even felt the brightness in my physical form in my eyes while I was asleep. In the dream, I couldn't enter through the white light in the end of the escalator as souls clothed in white rob were entering. I fell down the escalator with black rob clothed in the middle of the blue sky and that was where my dream ended. As I reached the middle of the blue sky falling downwards clothed in black rob was when my dream and vision ended.
After the dream, I decided to baptise. My baptism took place on 13th of May 2013. Although it took some time, but now I realise it was God's timing.
My life was in complete despair before I gave my life to christ. Ridden with anxiety, depression, from the failures of life, joblessness, with low self esteem, I was really struggling in life that thoughts of contemplating suicide was on my mind. Life changed in way where I was at my height of success..
I got a job and I enjoyed doing the job with my heart.I got offered from university. I had so much faith in God that God will take me to university. I then went to uni although life wasn't as expected and there was trails, and I was having doubt in my heart why would God take me there? In these two years, of my uni life, although many times were tough, but they never affected my mental health and shook my real confidence. Things were getting harder but I was growing more as a person and my personality was developing. But some how some where, God wasn't in my heart, I was walking away from God and getting far from God. Even after the obvious dream, walking in christainity was hard for me. I couldn't bring the courage to dress modestly. I regret wearing tight jeans, immodest clothes, even knowing it was a sin.
And when I was going to come home for summer vacation, after I finished my second year uni, i heard a church bell near to the place I stayed ring continuously for like four to five minutes. I have never in my entire life ever heard a church ringing continuously like that that way for minutes. It caught my attention. After it ringing for a moment, I felt in my heart that God wanted me to stay there. But me not liking the place and as second year was over, came home, despite God telling me not to. Then the downfall began. I was depressed and in so much pain and my confidence has really been shaken within me. Wonder now why God was telling me I think this place is right for you, do not go back to your family home.....stay here....but as the next day arrived...i wasn't happy in the place...and came home..now i remember the bible verse " WE WALK BY FAITH NOT BY SIGHT" AND WHO EVER HEARS THE COUNSEL OF THE ALMIGHTY WILL DWELL SAFELY....
After that, I began to feel so lonely,I was in pain and in misery that I went to my home country with my father and my sister. Although, God before hand said do not go, this is not the right timing. As my friends in the country I was living sort of had forgotten me, I felt really lonely, I had to go my home country to relieve that loneliness. As we were about to fly from the homeland before two day ahead the flight date, an incident happened with dad that he accidentally got an electric shock. Doctors told him that he either had to cut his fingers or do skin graft from his palm to replace that third degree burn in his left hand finger which was the source of contact of the electric shock..
He was told by the doctor that he was lucky to be alive, as the current didn't touched his heart or else he would have been dead. The electric passed through his left hand finger all the way to the chest but it didn't touched his heart at all.
Knowing that he had to cut his finger or have skin grafting, I could sense so much of grief in the home, and in my mother. The thought of those hands being disabled and finger being cut off completely which worked hard and nurtured me and taught me walk and carried me when I can't and looked after me, was unacceptable. I prayed to God that God please do not let anything happen. I give you the whole situation, I have seen you doing miracles in life and healed even the sinners and bad people, please handle the situation with your mercy and love. I knew in my heart that it was God that saved dad from dying and that God didn't saved him alive to live fingerless or handless.
Dad told me he had the electric shock for about 26 to 27 seconds, and was saying goodbye to us in his heart. He for sure with certainty knew in his heart at that time that he was going to die. Suddenly, the electric went off and his hand falled of the wall socket.
A miracle that I heard when i phoned my mum in hospital to know about his operation is just marvellous and wonderful. she told me that the doctor just came and told that he doesn't need skin grafting neither cutting his fingers. The third degree burn in his finger they already had taken out in the first operation and when the doctor looked at his finger the next day of operation he told that his cells are bleeding which is good and new cells are generating and will generate in the finger where the dead black tissue where taken out. He just needs special dressings and it will be fine.
I am thankful for God and God's mercy and grace in our lives. Glory and praise to be our God.
My depression, my anxiety, my hopelessness that I had in me God turned into a beautiful thing in my life, I began to grew strength within me, grew to love life more, the thoughts of suicide were replaced with the joy and desire to live life and enjoy life.
Bible verse where it says God gives the ability to to enjoy life is true. I was happy through the strength of God. But my sin in life, sexual immortality and that I lifted my soul to idolisation is the biggest downfall of me as God warned me before hand that he wasn't right guy and I will bring the perfect guy in your life. But the guy I stalked so much on social media, there was an attraction unavoidable that it took me far away from God unknowingly as is the reason of my downfall.Me being rebellious with God, despite Gods warning, made my life shatter with my own decisions. I regret ever coming home for vacation, I wouldn't have had to go through those painful days. How I thought I could please God when i lift my soul and life to idolisation. The beautiful life God made and blessed me with, I deeply regret in my heart now.
To my understanding, I suppose it was a calling of God saying to not sin anymore that God will give me strength and renew my youth and make life beautiful and yes God did. The way I know God and understand from my life experience, is that God do want us to be happy in life. Our happiness does matter to God, our pain and our sorrows in life.
The girl who thought that she was going to live forever. God lifted up that vanity from me as well. God taught me through my life experience in university that you don't live life forever, life is once and that is it. You don't get another life to love, to forgive, to bond and to live. And what is the life lived if you didn't loved and had good friends. This is one life and this is it. And how you end does matter.
God taught me to love people, have compassion on them, and not to mistook them in their dark days and in their weakness, as I was once in my dark days, I used to have lots and lots of self-esteem issues. I understand that how it felt to be going through days, how it felt to be weak, well tried my best to light a candle of love and goodness in the world and in people's life when they needed me.......
God is good and God loves us with an unfailing love.....God loves you...have faith in God...we walk by faith not by sight......this is what I learned....well was in bible before...but until that incident I kind of had forgotten.......
I regret in my heart being rebellious to God despite God's warning before hand to not lift up soul to idolisation. That he wasn't right guy and yes God was right. He wasn't and he never poped into my life ever even after all the happenings and knowing how I was.
I knew now, and coming to understand that, God cared for me thats why God warned me before hand, God knew it will be the reason alone strong enough to bring a catastrophe in my life. And it did. But the harm is done already, so just recovering from it........
I regret ever not obeying and trusting on God.......As faith is unseen so are sometimes Gods work in our life that we ought to put trust in God no matter what the circumstances are because God exist despite struggles and hardships in life.............
I hope you have a wonderful day ahead and life and always have faith in God and trust in God's right timing, Irony is that i am graduating in 25 years... I dont feel old in my heart at all even now I am 24 years.....God didn't let my youth be wasted..Glory and praise to God......feels like my youth is renewed....... :) with every passing year...
All I wish to say is no matter how hard your life is, how at dark are you in, God loves you no matter your weakness and struggles.............God loves you with everlasting and unfailing love..........As a father has a love for his child..so with the same love God loves you :)