Since I was very young I had nightmares and images flash in my head sometimes feeling of being watched would overwhelm me at night and I would scream out. I remember coming to age and the understanding of the world.being so painful (my personal life and the wider picture) sometimes I'd feel so out of control and the sadness would feel like my heart was being crushed as if it was a car at a scrap yard. As I became a young adult I would look for distraction from reliving painful mistakes and events in my life I was living with so.much pain and exhaustion from being someone I didn't want to be. one day a friend of mine asked me to join her for church as she was visiting her mum's church and didn't want to go alone. as I joined the church inside I continued to feel uncomfortable and uneasy with the other people finding ways.to.judge and distance myself from them.
The music.started and people started to sing I was reading the words and singing to and I started.to get into it and enjoy the music I felt an odd demention of affiliation to the lyrics I looked over at the people and I saw something in the church although nothing had changed and could not physically see anything. It was as if the breath of the people singing was reaching up to the open.space above and as if the very same.something was reaching down to them and finding the church it was beatiful! It seemed to.move.around the room like a great wind I heard the speaker say the words of Jesus " take my yoke apon you and I shall give you rest, " and it just felt so real to me at that moment I felt a pressure on my heart and chest it's as if the cloud in the room wanted to be in me i.felt as if someone was behind me and in front of me and beside me and it got stronger I have in to this beautiful feeling and I know God with me and still do. Jesus is teaching me and his spirit fills me with love and the father tells me what to do and what will happen. God is really it's nuts
Since I was very young I had nightmares and images flash in my head sometimes feeling of being watched would overwhelm me at night and I would scream out. I remember coming to age and the understanding of the world.being so painful (my personal life and the wider picture) sometimes I'd feel so out of control and the sadness would feel like my heart was being crushed as if it was a car at a scrap yard. As I became a young adult I would look for distraction from reliving painful mistakes and events in my life I was living with so.much pain and exhaustion from being someone I didn't want to be. one day a friend of mine asked me to join her for church as she was visiting her mum's church and didn't want to go alone. as I joined the church inside I continued to feel uncomfortable and uneasy with the other people finding ways.to.judge and distance myself from them.
The music.started and people started to sing I was reading the words and singing to and I started.to get into it and enjoy the music I felt an odd demention of affiliation to the lyrics I looked over at the people and I saw something in the church although nothing had changed and could not physically see anything. It was as if the breath of the people singing was reaching up to the open.space above and as if the very same.something was reaching down to them and finding the church it was beatiful! It seemed to.move.around the room like a great wind I heard the speaker say the words of Jesus " take my yoke apon you and I shall give you rest, " and it just felt so real to me at that moment I felt a pressure on my heart and chest it's as if the cloud in the room wanted to be in me i.felt as if someone was behind me and in front of me and beside me and it got stronger I have in to this beautiful feeling and I know God with me and still do. Jesus is teaching me and his spirit fills me with love and the father tells me what to do and what will happen. God is really it's nuts
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