Well Shelby, Mishael has given you some great advice about teaching kids life skills so that they might become careful & responsible adults whose lifestyle their kids would want to emulate.
However, I also detect in your question that maybe those kids (now adults) are refusing to work & depending on govt or parental handouts to see them through. Without bringing up whether they received proper parental teaching & witness, I'm guessing that for some reason, whether because of laziness, misunderstanding the nature of wholesome work, or inability to find work, they are now in this predicament.
I feel, that as a parent, you should (& can) still do whatever possible to set them on the correct path of thinking of & doing work. Whether it is having a good in-depth chat, taking them for further professional counselling, or even helping them find work (any work) to get them busy, valuing what has been ordained for us to pursue. 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat." The Apostle Paul certainly believed that to have a roof over our heads & food in our stomachs, then work was imperative. And even though, as a parent, the obvious & compelling thing to do is to give them money rather than see them do without, everything possible should be done to get the right work ethic into those floundering without work or lazy, so that they can stand on their own feet with a sense of responsibility & contributing to society. Or else, as I have seen too often, this no-work ethos will just continue to perpetuate into future generations.
I'm weird I guess. I taught my 12 yr old son life skills 101 until he was 16. He learned full knowledge on how to run a household, cook real meals, yard work, maintenance on a car.
How to shop for a household, stretch your grocery money. How to never have to wear green underwear (laundry); sew on a button. He balanced my checkbook for me to learn budgeting, paid the bills and saw what was leftover :(
I let him work for roofing companies. Cleaning restaurants, grandpa's gas station. I told him it was to teach him the value of an education because low paying jobs are hard, sweaty and exhausting.
When he turned 21, he purchased his first house (a new one). He's 42 now; has 13+ houses he rents out and maintains. Works full time at a 9/5 job, has a family. He's amazing! He's teaching his son the same things.
You have to make a personal commitment to give a kid the best start in life. Schools and even Churches don't teach that. Parents have to do it.
He got some traffic tickets at 16. He knew I couldn't pay for them. I took him to the County Clerks office so he could pay them out. He learned to obey traffic laws, young.
I love being a parent. If we'd just obey God and not skip over the hard parts that are time consuming; we won't have to launch the kid. They'll launch themselves.
Let them work some summer jobs. Swimming pools don't teach them anything. Driving a car is big time maintenance and expense; they must learn. Cut off the fun money and they'll want to get a job. If they demand cool clothes and shoes; let them get part-time jobs.
You have to cease to be their source. They have to see their source is THEMSELVES.
My kid got to keep all his money and budget it. He was broke some months. He got the hang of it pretty quick. He got better paying jobs as he could.
I told him that no one can take your home or car, as long as you have a job to secure your freedom.
Children are a blessing without end, if we raise them like God raises us up. I loved my Own Dad no matter what happened. He sat down with me every time and explained Why he had to correct me. I was never frightened of my Dad. I knew he loved me. He allowed me to push the boundaries but then pulled me back into the protection of the family circle. Does that make sense?
He showed us from the Bible that his corrections were Biblical. God expects parents to lead the children (not the opposite). We lead, as only we follow. Jesus calls to us, Follow Me.
Patience and purpose of the Lord, leads us through kid raising. I remember firm hugs, as many as I needed. There is power in a hug!
This year on Fathers Day, give your Dad a big hug. Thank him for being a leader. Hugs erase a multitude of mistakes.
I've been blessed all of my life. At age 5, God began showing me what He was like. What he liked, barely tolerated (lol), and how the world works: love, hate, apathy, good fellowship, being part of a church, community. He saved my life many times from death on a farm. I was into everything.
We can be as close to God as we desire. Talk to Him.
Mishael ,so you had a good teacher in your own dad ? Thats good ,my dad was a horror ! Some people that come on here might say that my dad was possessed by a demon but i think he was just a very nasty man ,i am convinced that Jesus intervined and saved me and my life from my dad more than once ,eventually he went to prison and my mum and i were able to escape from him , its very very easy for me to think of God as my Father as my own biological one wasnt a good one and he was out of my life by the time i was 7 years old ,i meant what i said Mishael ,you are a blessing for your children and they are most fortunate to have you ,i bet they love the bones of you as we say in england .
After I left home, I gravitated to things I saw my Aunt do (occult). I wanted to know why I had so much trouble in relationships and I got into astrology. My Christian grandmother would write me love letters about Jesus. She died. Years later I was saved supernaturally. After my Dad died, I felt so adrift with pain of loss.
One night I had a dream. I saw Jesus's nailed to the cross on the ground. He looked into my eyes with so much love. I was angry because he had taken 2 people I loved so much. I picked up a rock and then I hit the nails in his hands. Every time I struck him, he would say, I Love You. I finally dropped the rock and fell over his chest and he held me. The dream ended.
I never felt abandoned again. I know I am loved perfectly, completely and forever.
You can have that too. There's a scripture about the spirit of adoption that will bless you. "When my father and mother abandon me; the Lord will take me up. He steps in to be the parent we don't have anymore. Your inheritance is in Jesus. Let go of your Dad. Let Jesus be your Daddy now. He is Lord of all. But he knows that we need a Dad in our daily lives: for a hug, counsel, direction, caution; ideas how to do things we can't manage.
He cares about us. You'll always have Him. You may drift sometimes, but He never turns away from us. Lean into Him and let Him heal your heart and memories.
However, I also detect in your question that maybe those kids (now adults) are refusing to work & depending on govt or parental handouts to see them through. Without bringing up whether they received proper parental teaching & witness, I'm guessing that for some reason, whether because of laziness, misunderstanding the nature of wholesome work, or inability to find work, they are now in this predicament.
I feel, that as a parent, you should (& can) still do whatever possible to set them on the correct path of thinking of & doing work. Whether it is having a good in-depth chat, taking them for further professional counselling, or even helping them find work (any work) to get them busy, valuing what has been ordained for us to pursue. 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat." The Apostle Paul certainly believed that to have a roof over our heads & food in our stomachs, then work was imperative. And even though, as a parent, the obvious & compelling thing to do is to give them money rather than see them do without, everything possible should be done to get the right work ethic into those floundering without work or lazy, so that they can stand on their own feet with a sense of responsibility & contributing to society. Or else, as I have seen too often, this no-work ethos will just continue to perpetuate into future generations.
How to shop for a household, stretch your grocery money. How to never have to wear green underwear (laundry); sew on a button. He balanced my checkbook for me to learn budgeting, paid the bills and saw what was leftover :(
I let him work for roofing companies. Cleaning restaurants, grandpa's gas station. I told him it was to teach him the value of an education because low paying jobs are hard, sweaty and exhausting.
When he turned 21, he purchased his first house (a new one). He's 42 now; has 13+ houses he rents out and maintains. Works full time at a 9/5 job, has a family. He's amazing! He's teaching his son the same things.
You have to make a personal commitment to give a kid the best start in life. Schools and even Churches don't teach that. Parents have to do it.
He got some traffic tickets at 16. He knew I couldn't pay for them. I took him to the County Clerks office so he could pay them out. He learned to obey traffic laws, young.
I love being a parent. If we'd just obey God and not skip over the hard parts that are time consuming; we won't have to launch the kid. They'll launch themselves.
Let them work some summer jobs. Swimming pools don't teach them anything. Driving a car is big time maintenance and expense; they must learn. Cut off the fun money and they'll want to get a job. If they demand cool clothes and shoes; let them get part-time jobs.
You have to cease to be their source. They have to see their source is THEMSELVES.
My kid got to keep all his money and budget it. He was broke some months. He got the hang of it pretty quick. He got better paying jobs as he could.
I told him that no one can take your home or car, as long as you have a job to secure your freedom.
He always had a job
Mishael
He showed us from the Bible that his corrections were Biblical. God expects parents to lead the children (not the opposite). We lead, as only we follow. Jesus calls to us, Follow Me.
Patience and purpose of the Lord, leads us through kid raising. I remember firm hugs, as many as I needed. There is power in a hug!
This year on Fathers Day, give your Dad a big hug. Thank him for being a leader. Hugs erase a multitude of mistakes.
I've been blessed all of my life. At age 5, God began showing me what He was like. What he liked, barely tolerated (lol), and how the world works: love, hate, apathy, good fellowship, being part of a church, community. He saved my life many times from death on a farm. I was into everything.
We can be as close to God as we desire. Talk to Him.
When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.
Romans 8:15
For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
Ephesians 1:5
Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to HIMSELF, according to the good pleasure of his will,
Sacha, 'Abba' means Daddy :)
One night I had a dream. I saw Jesus's nailed to the cross on the ground. He looked into my eyes with so much love. I was angry because he had taken 2 people I loved so much. I picked up a rock and then I hit the nails in his hands. Every time I struck him, he would say, I Love You. I finally dropped the rock and fell over his chest and he held me. The dream ended.
I never felt abandoned again. I know I am loved perfectly, completely and forever.
You can have that too. There's a scripture about the spirit of adoption that will bless you. "When my father and mother abandon me; the Lord will take me up. He steps in to be the parent we don't have anymore. Your inheritance is in Jesus. Let go of your Dad. Let Jesus be your Daddy now. He is Lord of all. But he knows that we need a Dad in our daily lives: for a hug, counsel, direction, caution; ideas how to do things we can't manage.
He cares about us. You'll always have Him. You may drift sometimes, but He never turns away from us. Lean into Him and let Him heal your heart and memories.
He is as close, as we can accept.
You are His child now. I rejoice with you!
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