The answers that I seek are either by prayer, or from Scripture...
However, I write to you for your opinion; so please read the following:
My wife and I have been married for 27 years. She is 55 years of age and stricken with Alzheimers Dementia and now resides in a Personal Care Home.
I believe that it was manifested by my sins and tempting God and Satan to do their worst to me.
We had a real love after finally finding each other through Gods intervention.
In recent years; our relationship was suffering for many reasons, no blame to either of us but to both of us. I could not suffer my wife to leave her and I could not bear her to suffer the rejection.
So, in my mind; I thought that it would be easier on me and my wife to lose her spouse by death rather than by rejection. So I tempted God and Satan to do your worst.
Then it came to pass that I got an infection in my brain and tried to ride it out to death, but reasoning with myself that this may not bring death but rather life with an infliction, So I finally went to the hospital and the surgeon performed a cranial and then three months of intravenous antibiotics.
I did not fulfill the curse that I wished for.
Shortly thereafter, my wife was stricken with Alzheimers Dementia.
Now the ambiguous loss and the guilt that I feel because of my continued tempting of God and Satan to do your worst to me.
Well now; it has come to pass the worst curse, only my wife has become a victim of my sins.
I had recently become born again so that I could repent my sins and pray for my wife and ask God to perform a miracle and remove the demons from my wife and make whole again.
In conclusion;
I had a dream and a clear voice said to me "This is you cross to bear"
When I looked to the internet to find a meaning for this phrase, the first example displayed was;
"when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimers, this is your cross to bear."
Sorry we missed your original request for help, I second everything Adam has said, I would like to add God is not restricted by time, he see the ending and the beginning like a picture in front of him, we can't surprise God and the good thing about that is we can't disappoint him. He sent his son while we were yet in our sins,
God deal with us as sons, We may not know what God is doing behind the scenes but we Know God is Love and rich in mercy and he always deal with us in his attributes. I pray that it's someone here that can offer comfort and counsel.
I will be praying for you , I pray the Lord will grant you mercy and understanding
That is a heavy situation you have found yourself in. Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry you haven't received a timely response from others like maybe you were hoping for.
Proverbs 27:17 - this verse comes to mind as we often need support from each other and to get other perspectives, so I'm glad you have risked to share your story in hope to get new others' input.
I have prayed about this and I'd like to share my impression.
"my wife has become a victim of my sins"
I don't believe you caused your wife's condition. My mother had the same condition as do millions and it's already hard enough to deal with, but if we attempt to blame ourselves we only worsen an already unpleasant situation. We need to be loving and nurturing to ourselves so we have love left over to give to others. Mark 12:31. So, please don't blame yourself and instead be extra gentle with yourself and give yourself a break, that way you have more love to give others a break too. We all have limited days on earth and should make the most of it and focus on the good- especially in regards to relationships, helping others, using our gifts, etc.
"Are my prayers lost?"
God hears your prayers. It does take faith/belief and genuine motives. Mark 11:24. James 1. God bless you.
The answers that I seek are either by prayer, or from Scripture...
However, I write to you for your opinion; so please read the following:
My wife and I have been married for 27 years. She is 55 years of age and stricken with Alzheimers Dementia and now resides in a Personal Care Home.
I believe that it was manifested by my sins and tempting God and Satan to do their worst to me.
We had a real love after finally finding each other through Gods intervention.
In recent years; our relationship was suffering for many reasons, no blame to either of us but to both of us. I could not suffer my wife to leave her and I could not bear her to suffer the rejection.
So, in my mind; I thought that it would be easier on me and my wife to lose her spouse by death rather than by rejection. So I tempted God and Satan to do your worst.
Then it came to pass that I got an infection in my brain and tried to ride it out to death, but reasoning with myself that this may not bring death but rather life with an infliction, So I finally went to the hospital and the surgeon performed a cranial and then three months of intravenous antibiotics.
I did not fulfill the curse that I wished for.
Shortly thereafter, my wife was stricken with Alzheimers Dementia.
Now the ambiguous loss and the guilt that I feel because of my continued tempting of God and Satan to do your worst to me.
Well now; it has come to pass the worst curse, only my wife has become a victim of my sins.
I had recently become born again so that I could repent my sins and pray for my wife and ask God to perform a miracle and remove the demons from my wife and make whole again.
In conclusion;
I had a dream and a clear voice said to me "This is you cross to bear"
When I looked to the internet to find a meaning for this phrase, the first example displayed was;
"when a family member is diagnosed with Alzheimers, this is your cross to bear."
Are my prayers lost?
Sorry we missed your original request for help, I second everything Adam has said, I would like to add God is not restricted by time, he see the ending and the beginning like a picture in front of him, we can't surprise God and the good thing about that is we can't disappoint him. He sent his son while we were yet in our sins,
God deal with us as sons, We may not know what God is doing behind the scenes but we Know God is Love and rich in mercy and he always deal with us in his attributes. I pray that it's someone here that can offer comfort and counsel.
I will be praying for you , I pray the Lord will grant you mercy and understanding
That is a heavy situation you have found yourself in. Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry you haven't received a timely response from others like maybe you were hoping for.
Proverbs 27:17 - this verse comes to mind as we often need support from each other and to get other perspectives, so I'm glad you have risked to share your story in hope to get new others' input.
I have prayed about this and I'd like to share my impression.
"my wife has become a victim of my sins"
I don't believe you caused your wife's condition. My mother had the same condition as do millions and it's already hard enough to deal with, but if we attempt to blame ourselves we only worsen an already unpleasant situation. We need to be loving and nurturing to ourselves so we have love left over to give to others. Mark 12:31. So, please don't blame yourself and instead be extra gentle with yourself and give yourself a break, that way you have more love to give others a break too. We all have limited days on earth and should make the most of it and focus on the good- especially in regards to relationships, helping others, using our gifts, etc.
"Are my prayers lost?"
God hears your prayers. It does take faith/belief and genuine motives. Mark 11:24. James 1. God bless you.
Dear Spencer,
Dear Liz,
Thank you all very much!
I didn't expect to see any more replies to my question - What a nice surprise, and at Easter.
I pray every day for my wife and am starting to accept God's will.
Thank you
Love to you.
This comment thread is locked. Please enter a new comment below to start a new comment thread.
Note: Comment threads older than 2 months are automatically locked.
Do you have a Bible comment or question?
Please Sign In or Register to post comments...
Report Comment
Which best represents the problem with the comment?