Hey everyone, I am a new born Christian that has found that I may possibly be condemning my wife when my heart desires to preach conviction of sin instead. I'm afraid that I may be doing condemnation when my wife and I are discussing about the bible which often leads her to feeling guilty and in sorrow, rather than peace in coming to Christ.
How may I discuss the what I'm understanding in the bible without acting in condemnation, and instead act more in conviction. I do not want to do the devils work and make my wife depressed with Christianity, which I feel I often do. Can someone please tell me how to discern this and bring light on to how to properly preach about what the bible says without condemning my wife.
" I may possibly be condemning my wife when my heart desires to preach conviction of sin instead. "
I was saved before my wife, I see your dilemma. Preach has a connotation that doesn't imply example. I recently heard the saying, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." When you both are before God's word, avoid your commentary and allow God's word to be the focus of her attention. In God's good time he does the saving, not you and your preaching. In this case I believe "actions speak louder than words." Loving your wife is a commitment not based on feeling. Meet her needs which are your responsibility and trust God to be at work on her needs that are his. I will be praying for you both.
"How may I discuss the what I'm understanding in the bible" As unsaved, she isn't the person to discuss those matters with, but ask God to provide that person or means to help you reflect on what you see in scripture, such as this site.
My wife was saved sometime after reading a gospel tract I had left with her. She was alone and holding our just delivered firstborn son in her hospital bed. God brought to her mind John 3:16 and then she thoroughly understood it's meaning. She immediatly called me to say she was saved, and that was perhaps three/four years after me getting saved. I worked at that hospital and was saved during work hours while on the rooftop, no more than forty feet from where her bed was. I was also born in that hospital, so I was born and born again there.
Having saved you, God will never leave or forsake you. Grow in his graciousness and thank him for his mercies.
Welcome to the family of God & it's so heartening to read that you're distressed about your wife's spiritual condition & actually doing something about it. Our mission field is first found in the home.
Can I assume that your love for each other is very real & that your wife knows this as you share from the Bible with her? And the "guilt & sorrow" she feels, is it because of the Spirit's convicting her heart of sin or because of the way you're presenting the Gospel to her? I say this, as you sense that your manner of presentation may be condemnatory & hurtful.
If she genuinely feels that the Word, as presented, is showing her the depth of her sin & estrangement from God, then this sorrow can only be of the Spirit. When one is convicted of sin, having God's displeasure, & hell as our destiny, that person needs to be led further towards repentance & seeking God for forgiveness. Is this her state? If so, let her open up to the Lord in her own words & in tears, that she may know that Divine forgiveness & newness of heart.
But if she is only troubled by your remarks, or your emphasis & condemnation for her failures, then I agree, you would need to take a more softer, understanding stance, as we all were once cast under God's Mercy & His gentle dealing with us. She is your wife & together, a single loving unit of humanity before God. She not only has the witness from the Word, but also by your life, behaviour, & heart's longing for her to come to saving faith. Only the Holy Spirit can bring conviction in a person & it's the same Spirit that gives faith to believe & a new birth in Christ. As you read those Scriptures that point to one's inherent sin & our impossible efforts to escape its rewards, you need to identify yourself to her as, "I was once that man".
Read the Scriptures together slowly & carefully - ask each other what they mean & how they apply. If she has questions that you feel you can't answer, then you both will need pastoral help, or even write here.
Welcome to the family of God. Glad that you are in The Word. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works." 2Ti 3:16-17 (KJV)
doctrine, the truths about God, man, sin, salvation etc.
reproof, pointing out the things we are thinking, saying and doing that is sin
correction, how to turn from our sin
instruction in righteousness, how to live to please and bring glory to God
I'm baffled by what's going on with Numbers 10 that's troubling your wife. If you want your wife to love God and share your joy, why don't you try reading The Gospel of John together or maybe she would read it herself. When someone is close to you, like a wife, brother, daughter etc, it's kind of dicey to preach to them. They need to see you living out your love for Jesus before they hear you preach to them. There may be times when those close to you ask a question. Peter says, "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1Pe 3:15 (KJV)
Rather than saying, "You need to repent" and so forth, think about personalizing what you're saying like, "I know that I'm a sinner and I read in the Bible that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and that includes me. But Jesus died for my sins so that I won't have to suffer for my sins in hell. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. I've repented of my sins and trusted Jesus to save me. You can too." But The Word need to be planted and watered. Be patient. Pray. Live a Godly life before her. Serve your wife. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Eph 5:25 (KJV)
How may I discuss the what I'm understanding in the bible without acting in condemnation, and instead act more in conviction. I do not want to do the devils work and make my wife depressed with Christianity, which I feel I often do. Can someone please tell me how to discern this and bring light on to how to properly preach about what the bible says without condemning my wife.
" I may possibly be condemning my wife when my heart desires to preach conviction of sin instead. "
I was saved before my wife, I see your dilemma. Preach has a connotation that doesn't imply example. I recently heard the saying, "people don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." When you both are before God's word, avoid your commentary and allow God's word to be the focus of her attention. In God's good time he does the saving, not you and your preaching. In this case I believe "actions speak louder than words." Loving your wife is a commitment not based on feeling. Meet her needs which are your responsibility and trust God to be at work on her needs that are his. I will be praying for you both.
"How may I discuss the what I'm understanding in the bible" As unsaved, she isn't the person to discuss those matters with, but ask God to provide that person or means to help you reflect on what you see in scripture, such as this site.
My wife was saved sometime after reading a gospel tract I had left with her. She was alone and holding our just delivered firstborn son in her hospital bed. God brought to her mind John 3:16 and then she thoroughly understood it's meaning. She immediatly called me to say she was saved, and that was perhaps three/four years after me getting saved. I worked at that hospital and was saved during work hours while on the rooftop, no more than forty feet from where her bed was. I was also born in that hospital, so I was born and born again there.
Having saved you, God will never leave or forsake you. Grow in his graciousness and thank him for his mercies.
Can I assume that your love for each other is very real & that your wife knows this as you share from the Bible with her? And the "guilt & sorrow" she feels, is it because of the Spirit's convicting her heart of sin or because of the way you're presenting the Gospel to her? I say this, as you sense that your manner of presentation may be condemnatory & hurtful.
If she genuinely feels that the Word, as presented, is showing her the depth of her sin & estrangement from God, then this sorrow can only be of the Spirit. When one is convicted of sin, having God's displeasure, & hell as our destiny, that person needs to be led further towards repentance & seeking God for forgiveness. Is this her state? If so, let her open up to the Lord in her own words & in tears, that she may know that Divine forgiveness & newness of heart.
But if she is only troubled by your remarks, or your emphasis & condemnation for her failures, then I agree, you would need to take a more softer, understanding stance, as we all were once cast under God's Mercy & His gentle dealing with us. She is your wife & together, a single loving unit of humanity before God. She not only has the witness from the Word, but also by your life, behaviour, & heart's longing for her to come to saving faith. Only the Holy Spirit can bring conviction in a person & it's the same Spirit that gives faith to believe & a new birth in Christ. As you read those Scriptures that point to one's inherent sin & our impossible efforts to escape its rewards, you need to identify yourself to her as, "I was once that man".
Read the Scriptures together slowly & carefully - ask each other what they mean & how they apply. If she has questions that you feel you can't answer, then you both will need pastoral help, or even write here.
Welcome to the family of God. Glad that you are in The Word. "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works." 2Ti 3:16-17 (KJV)
doctrine, the truths about God, man, sin, salvation etc.
reproof, pointing out the things we are thinking, saying and doing that is sin
correction, how to turn from our sin
instruction in righteousness, how to live to please and bring glory to God
I'm baffled by what's going on with Numbers 10 that's troubling your wife. If you want your wife to love God and share your joy, why don't you try reading The Gospel of John together or maybe she would read it herself. When someone is close to you, like a wife, brother, daughter etc, it's kind of dicey to preach to them. They need to see you living out your love for Jesus before they hear you preach to them. There may be times when those close to you ask a question. Peter says, "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:" 1Pe 3:15 (KJV)
Rather than saying, "You need to repent" and so forth, think about personalizing what you're saying like, "I know that I'm a sinner and I read in the Bible that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and that includes me. But Jesus died for my sins so that I won't have to suffer for my sins in hell. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life. I've repented of my sins and trusted Jesus to save me. You can too." But The Word need to be planted and watered. Be patient. Pray. Live a Godly life before her. Serve your wife. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Eph 5:25 (KJV)
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