I saw your advertisement on Pluto TV. I have a question. I am not a Christian. I had a friend who is. What do you do when you have a friend who claims to be a Christian, who is a racist apologist? I stopped talking to her when we were in our 20's, back about 1987, because she was homophobic, and I am gay. About five years ago, we reconnected, and she claimed to have changed and was no longer homophobic. We had a very pleasant relationship. Until Covid struck the land. Then I started to see some philosophical differences. Ordinarily, these could be ignored. But things got tense, because we weren't disagreeing about an ordinary Republican president, but Trump, who did not behave in a remotely Christian manner, in my opinion. Not that she defended him, mind you. I just think that him being president made it easier for some Republicans to rationalize alot of bad behavior.
When the BLM protests got hot and heavy, she began to make alot of comments and strange connections, like there were bricks piled up in various locations all over her town, so therefore the BLM protesters must be planning on rioting and setting fires in her neighborhood. Then she started making comments rationalizing slavery and downplaying racism. I never called her racist/apologist. I made an appointment to talk to her about some points that I requested she meditate upon. When the day arrived, we talked and I tried to teach her using two allegories from my life as an abused child and a gay woman. She just argued, minimized and rationalized, and when it was obvious I wouldn't entertain her obfuscations, she said I was being abusive and controlling. A few weeks later she wasn't upset anymore and wanted to talk to me, but I can't get over it. I feel very betrayed. I thought she learned something after being homophobic and I quit talking to her. I thought she had changed. What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?
The best thing you can do for yourself and your friend is to learn of Jesus Christ and accept his free gift of salvation and eternal life. He shed his blood and died on the cross for your sins, was buried and then arose from the dead to redeem all of us sinners from death and an eternity in Hell.
Otherwise you and your friend are traveling in entirely different directions and really have nothing significant in common. She is accepted of God because of Jesus regardless what you publicly charge her with here.
I did learn of those things you mentioned. I was a Born-Again Christian in my 20's.
Ironically, some of the rest of your response is why I am no longer a Christian.
But I certainly agree that my friend and I are going in different directions and perhaps nothing I can do can change that, and perhaps I should move on and leave her in Greater Hands.
There is no excuse 4 racism or the justification of it ,no Christian is perfect ,im very aware of that because i am a sinner and a Christian ,u can chose 2 forgive your friend her ignorance and maintain your friendship with her andtry 2 help her understand your point of view in a gentle and patient way or just tell her u cant b friends with her and why u cant again in a gentle and patient way ,maybe she was scared by the violent clashes that occured ,Christians tend 2 shy away from violence if possible ,the choice is yours ,keep up the friendship in the hope that u will eventually help her 2 unferstand your point of view better or give up on her and find yourself some more open minded and open hearted friends ,either way please stay safe and may God bless u .
Thank you, Suzanne. This all happened in October, and I did decide to break off the friendship, because I did try to patiently explain, and not only was she not receptive, but she accused me of being mean, etc. My mother still speaks to her upon occasion. I am quite sad and extremely disappointed over the whole thing. But anyway, I thank you very much for taking the time to respond to me, and hope you are blessed!
All of us have failed God in one way or the other - but God is in the business of bringing lost & wayward folk back into His Love & family, through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.
You ask, "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?" If you can find forgiveness in your heart that would be the first step, as each one of us are at different levels of spiritual understanding & maturity. If you tell her that her behaviour is very un-Christian-like, she may either get offended & break off altogether or it might be a wake-up call for her to re-examine her attitudes. You will know her better than any of us. So it's not an easy decision to make; it comes down to how much you are willing to put up with & hoping that God Himself will have dealings with her making her more sensitive to you, first as a person/a friend, & then to share more carefully & lovingly about God's desire for you as for each one of us. Given her propensity to lay the Bible heavily against you, you may even ask her to spend some time together reading & studying God's Word (from the New Testament Gospels): she might gain some useful insights to Christian behaviour & be softened in her heart by your interest to read with her, & you too might learn more of Jesus & what He requires of us. God's Word is powerful - it has the ability to bring us Light & direct our minds & our ways in the right direction - into an abundant life. Please feel free Claudia to enquire further here, if any comments need to be elaborated or you have other questions. God bless you.
This all happened in October, and I have not spoken to her since, except once. My friend lost her mother at a young age, so she has been friendly with my mother, which I have not interfered with. My mother sent her some writings of mine via email, I felt, trying to reconcile us. I wrote my friend and apologized for my mother doing this. As my friend had accused me of being controlling, I didn't want her to feel that either my mother or I were in any way trying to manipulate her. She responded more warmly than I expected and said she was no longer upset with me, so I apologized for getting upset during our discussion, and patiently clarified a few things, trying to open the way for future dialogue, and she reiterated that I had been controlling and abusive in our previous discussion. Since I did not believe I had been, indeed believe that I had bent over backwards to patiently explain and entreat, I was offended and fed up and walked away. But it hurts alot...
Yes, I am aware of Christ's role in Christianity. I was once born again. Unfortunately, Christianity did not fit well with me, partly due to the abuse I mentioned in my original post. But I do thank the folks who have responded here, because I have not felt judged, and that is good. Thanks again, Chris!
So a life in Christ is not a "try, see if you like it, then accept or reject Christ" type of association - that is merely religion, whereby one can choose to find a belief system or philosophy that fits in with our beliefs. Christianity - pure Christianity from the Bible speaks of a complete inward change that then pursues the things of God in spite of personal conflicts & challenges along the way. So Claudia, please don't give up on Christ - in spite of your past & even distresses of the present, Christ is your (& our) only Hope for this life & that which is to come. As Jesus is ready to forgive us completely,without partiality or condemnation, it is my hope & prayer that you will find both this Love of Christ in your heart & life & also the love & full acceptance of your friend.
I hope the responses you've received so far have been useful & I thank you for yours to me giving further detail to the most recent 'outburst'. Of course, not hearing your friend's side of this sad account, I can only discern from what you have shared here. Your friend appears to be somewhat 'highly strung' in her changing moods & rhetoric. As others have shared or intimated, Christians may be a forgiven people but certainly God has still to do a lot more work in us. I'm only sad that you're not seeing a better example of Christ-likeness & by your forgiving her & God's Work in her, she may be able to see herself more clearly.
We have a relative (a lady about your age) who is gay, though never suffering childhood abuse as you have. Her story sounds similar to yours, in that she once was quite a vibrant Christian, but was 'put off' by the attitudes & hypocrisies she saw in her family & Christians generally & felt better served to follow her sexual orientation & indeed go right over to the other side & pursue the Hindu philosophy. She is now quite an active Hindu & turned completely away from anything of Christ. Of course, I can't comment on your 're-birth' experience, as it's something personal between God & yourself, but I do know that if we are born again, then it's a complete spiritual change (not physical) done by God for all time. If one such as yourself should also then have to 'fit in' your sexual orientation in that Work of God, then God certainly will speak, guide & counsel you about it. It will be a struggle, as there are struggles in each of us who may have been given over to behaviour that is inconsistent with God's requirements, but we pursue godliness to please the One Who has brought light into our once dark souls.
Just because someone is christian or states their born again does not mean instantly all their thinking and actions dictate what the word of God says thats renewed mind and that takes time, on the other side don't judge belief system based on another persons not acting the way you think they should, In my life I've met plenty of so called christians that their actions didn't dictate what is written i let God do the judging. by the way don't let that stop you to look into Gods Word keep something in mind He's all love the human mind cannot comprehend that, but when you choose to believe you can experience it.
It is hard, because we live in a homophobic society, and there is a tendency for some Christians to be very condemning of gay people, which makes it difficult to separate the feelings of those Christians from the God they serve, and therefore, hard to feel that love you allude to. But I'm going to pray to God that He send me that love that I can feel. Thank you again, Rick!
Claudia don't get me wrong sin is sin but something to keep in mind sin is broken fellowship with God which all people commit, the challenge is if you want the deliverance and to experience His love and power and healing then it has to be done His way. Its like trying to build a house for someone without looking at their blueprint ain't gonna happen, also the more you do for God the more he will do for you its just the way it works. You wouldn't give a totally disobedient child great rewards or responsibility same with God people want Him to work their way and trust me we all make that mistake because we don't fully trust and obey.
Hi Claudia. Thank you for coming on here; I hope you get other comments. I can see that you've maintained your relationship with your friend over many years, so in spite of her views on your sexual orientation & her firm stance, you have been gracious enough to overlook her shortcomings & hopeful for restoration. As you've not asked about the Christian/biblical viewpoint on homosexuality, I'll refrain, as you probably are well versed (ad nauseam) in this matter from your friend. However, I would say that even though God's Plan in creating man & woman is to live in a heterosexual monogamous union, those who have deviated from that, for whatever reason, are still human beings deserving of understanding, support & friendship, without ceaseless condemnation (Jesus didn't do it - nor should we).
You referred to her as an 'apologist'. I rather see her as standing firm on her beliefs but not adequately (i.e. in a concerned methodical manner) dealing with it in your presence. To defend one's belief requires a careful, systematic presentation & I don't think you received that, rather her attitude towards you has brought on irritation & helplessness in understanding her behaviour. And that grieves me. Though I do hope, that with your maturity (which I clearly notice), you will continue to forgive her for her lack of Christian 'spirit' in this matter. Sometimes, we can get quite fired up over our faith & stand on biblical values & teaching, that we can become insensitive to the other person's position & feelings. And this attitude of course, will do nothing to present the teachings & life of Christ in all its beauty to another. She knows your views on the matter & that in spite of it, you still value her friendship; in such a situation I would relish the opportunity to pursue & build upon that relationship, where I would be more understanding & the other person would be more willing to listen & consider God's Love & offer to her, as He has given to each of us.
After reading your post, I am led to respond in hopes that my answer will give you something to ponder on and consider. I took notice that you mentioned that you are not a Christian, and the fact that you are gay. While I strive to be a Christian, I am nonetheless human and prone to make poor choices when I allow myself to ignore the morals that God has implemented in me. No one is perfect, and that includes those who proclaim to be Christians. However, a true Christian cannot be racist, nor intentionally and willfully commit sin without having a guilty conscience. With that being said, I am not sure if your friend is truly a Christian, for only herself and God know the answer to that. So, to answer your question "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?". The simple answer is there is nothing that you can do other than pray for them if you believe in God. Of course, you could always point out the fact that a true Christian does not hold hatred towards another, regardless of skin color. But this may be difficult to accomplish if you yourself are not a Christian.
I would like to comment on your statement regarding your not being a Christian yourself. But please keep in mind that I am not being judgemental or condemning you in any way, for I am not God, nor do I have that right. I am not sure if you have ever been educated on who Jesus Christ is, or if you have an understanding of what He represents, but I would encourage you to at least take a moment to research why He is so vital to the Christian. You see, it does not matter what you have done in the past, for it was the Blood Of Christ that can wash your sins away. When you accept Christ into your heart you become a child of God. Now that doesn't mean that you will be perfect, or that you won't on occasion face difficult times or make poor choices. But what it does mean is that you will begin to develop an inner desire to make better choices. Jesus Loves You!!!
But anyway, I do believe in God, and I can and indeed have prayed for her. I want to forgive, and that is my intention, but I have not gotten there yet. I have not spoken to her since October because I do think that she did feel guilty, and rather than disavow, or at least take time to mull it over, she blamed me, and later doubled down when I tried to reach out a little. I don't relish being treated like that again. It's a shame, because I love and miss her. But I can't stomach this part of her.
But anyway, Andrew, I thank you for your thought-provoking and kind response to me.
Thank you for your reply, Andrew, I actually replied some of what I wanted to say to you, to Chris.
I used to actually be Born Again. But that was not a good fit for me, for many reasons, including my sexual orientation, and a long history of abuse with my stepfather. Nonetheless, I am very familiar with Christianity, and did study the Bible in my 20's when I identified as Born Again. This was the 80's and many Christians I had experience with were very offensive to me as a gay woman, a real turnoff.
I still struggle with the amount of animus that is directed at gay people by some people who identify as Christians. I understand that Christianity considers homosexuality as a sin. And I recognize that to Christians all sin is sin. But it is hard for me to look at it that way. To me, it is strange. Two consenting adults loving one another is "bad", but it is OK for some to rationalize slavery. My friend said to me, "Well, Claudia, do you know that back in the day, black people had slaves? Do you know black people sold one another into slavery? At one time or another, all races have had it bad (!). Are you aware of Morgan Freeman's views on racism?" Now, back in the day, my friend made homophobic statements such as "Homosexuality is a gross sin in the eyes of God and AIDS is the punishment.". That statement was circa 1986. She has disavowed her homophobia and apologized for saying those kind of things to me, and we did quite well for five years. But the above racist/apologist statements are things she said to me this fall, after the summer of BLM protests. When I read them, I just ask myself what the point was of her disavowing the homophobia, when it doesn't seem like she learned anything from it? And when I told her how much her racist/apologist statements offended me, she apologized, but when I pointed out those same statements would offend POC, she not only didn't apologize, she doubled down on them!
I want to thank everyone who responded to me. You have all given me alot to think about.
I apologize, I see that some of my comments may have offended or misled some, so I want to clarify. I had no intention to attempt to contradict or discredit the Bible or Christianity. I only was trying to say that at this time and place in my life, it was not for me. I wasn't trying to come onto a Biblical site and criticize the Bible, Christianity or Christians. I was at one time, a Christian. I am no longer because that particular religion was not compatible for me and so I left. And because I was not treated well back in tbe day by some who identified as Christians.
I came on this site because I saw it advertised on television as a place where people could come together and talk about issues that divide us and find reconciliation. I was trying to figure out if it was possible to salvage a friendship that had been heartbreakingly fractured by some of the events of the day, especially racism. I mentioned my sexual orientation to give the context that this friend did not just come out with a prejudice randomly; she had a history of prejudicial behavior and this was part of why I was upset. I received some very helpful responses and some understanding and I thank those who gave them. Thank you very much and God bless.
Just so everyone knows, this is a Bible website where people can come and read it, discuss it, and those who choose to follow its teachings are called Christians who follow Jesus Christ as a role model.
If someone comes to a Bible site and publicly posts that they disagree with its teachings or think the Bible is wrong for this or that reason, then that can be offensive and judgmental to the many who respect its teachings. One must question the true motives of someone coming to a Bible website who then tries to discredit the Bible.
The Bible says the act of homosexuality is a sin. That isn't an opinion. That is what the Bible says in its text in several places: Link - is someone a Bible follower or a Bible-denier? Is someone a Christ follower (Christian) or a Christ denier?
So, the act is morally wrong and a sin. Just because someone has desires for something doesn't mean he must act on it. People regularly have all kinds of desires for sin, because sin is made attractive. Satan loves to dangle sin in front of our faces, but that doesn't mean we must engage in that sin. People also make a logical fallacy of identifying oneself as this or that, as if that somehow justifies sin. No, identifying oneself as a certain label doesn't make sin ok. i.e. I'm a robber, so robbing others is ok. I'm a player, so having affairs is ok, etc. on and on. It's all the same old, tired tricks that satan plays over and over, but they keep working to deceive people.
God calls everyone to be loving. Love people, despite their flaws. Loving doesn't mean to condone sin and it doesn't mean an excuse to commit sin, however. That's a logical fallacy, false assumption and a deception from satan. Sin is sin. God will judge our actions. Sometimes people pretend to be a victim for being called out on sin. Sometimes that feeling is actually guilt from deep-down knowing what one is doing is morally wrong and evil in God's eyes. The Bible is very clear on this subject and it will not be watered down to make someone feel better about their own sin.
Hi Adam ,im really very soryy as it seems i have annoyed u with my words and that was not my intention at all ,the word 'however' if its annoyed u i am very sorry ,im sorry 4 sounding instructional and judgemental ,i dont think that i disreguarded or condoned sin but if u think i did then others must think that also and im very sorry 4 that ,im guessing that a lot of people that look at this site r just like me ,not highly educated and i write the way i speak ,from my heart ,not always wise i know ,its a dangerous thing sometimes 2 say what u think and then put it out there into the whole world and im new at it as i dont normally have anything 2 do with the internet or any social media ,i came on here looking 4 some spiritual food but i seem 2 have put my foot right in it ,thankyou 4 helping me 2 make up my mind not 2 post anything else in case i offend or mislead any one ,keep up the good work and may God bless you .
I'm praying for you sweetie. I'm praying that the LOVE of God will so envelope you, that you won't be able to do anything other than submit to truth.
The truth of the matter is that, nothing you've done can separate you from His LOVE.
Adam told you the truth, yet in all of that and in all that my brothers and sisters have shared with you the main thing is.....God loves you and desires your heart! As long as you have breathe in your body, you can run back to him!
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and NONE of us can come to God except by him.
My heart connects with what you are expressing about your friend. I too lost a close friend dealing with some of those same issues. I made the decision not to rekindle the friendship although I still love and care about her.We are both Christians. Life happens to us all,stuff happens to us all.
When you're dealing with a deep wound like that, it just takes time. We have to sometimes repent all day long for what we're feeling and what were saying about it but you can continually ask God to help you with your feelings and emotions. He's faithful and He loves you. All of us continue to fall short and Jesus is still at the right hand of God, making intercession for us.
Whetever you are dealing with, sexual orientation or whatever it is.....you can still go to God. He knew before the foundation of the world that YOU would have these issues.He understands and He's made a way, through the Blood of Jesus.
Each one of us will give account for what we decided to do with Jesus. I encourage you to run to God again and talk with Him about it ALL my friend.
Your heart is precious to Him and your life is priceless to Him.
Hi ,u have sent your reply 2 me Suzanne when u should have sent it 2 Claudia ,i am not nor ever have been a homosexual ,please dont worry im not offended i just wanted u 2 know .
When the BLM protests got hot and heavy, she began to make alot of comments and strange connections, like there were bricks piled up in various locations all over her town, so therefore the BLM protesters must be planning on rioting and setting fires in her neighborhood. Then she started making comments rationalizing slavery and downplaying racism. I never called her racist/apologist. I made an appointment to talk to her about some points that I requested she meditate upon. When the day arrived, we talked and I tried to teach her using two allegories from my life as an abused child and a gay woman. She just argued, minimized and rationalized, and when it was obvious I wouldn't entertain her obfuscations, she said I was being abusive and controlling. A few weeks later she wasn't upset anymore and wanted to talk to me, but I can't get over it. I feel very betrayed. I thought she learned something after being homophobic and I quit talking to her. I thought she had changed. What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?
Otherwise you and your friend are traveling in entirely different directions and really have nothing significant in common. She is accepted of God because of Jesus regardless what you publicly charge her with here.
I did learn of those things you mentioned. I was a Born-Again Christian in my 20's.
Ironically, some of the rest of your response is why I am no longer a Christian.
But I certainly agree that my friend and I are going in different directions and perhaps nothing I can do can change that, and perhaps I should move on and leave her in Greater Hands.
All of us have failed God in one way or the other - but God is in the business of bringing lost & wayward folk back into His Love & family, through the gift of His Son Jesus Christ.
You ask, "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?" If you can find forgiveness in your heart that would be the first step, as each one of us are at different levels of spiritual understanding & maturity. If you tell her that her behaviour is very un-Christian-like, she may either get offended & break off altogether or it might be a wake-up call for her to re-examine her attitudes. You will know her better than any of us. So it's not an easy decision to make; it comes down to how much you are willing to put up with & hoping that God Himself will have dealings with her making her more sensitive to you, first as a person/a friend, & then to share more carefully & lovingly about God's desire for you as for each one of us. Given her propensity to lay the Bible heavily against you, you may even ask her to spend some time together reading & studying God's Word (from the New Testament Gospels): she might gain some useful insights to Christian behaviour & be softened in her heart by your interest to read with her, & you too might learn more of Jesus & what He requires of us. God's Word is powerful - it has the ability to bring us Light & direct our minds & our ways in the right direction - into an abundant life. Please feel free Claudia to enquire further here, if any comments need to be elaborated or you have other questions. God bless you.
This all happened in October, and I have not spoken to her since, except once. My friend lost her mother at a young age, so she has been friendly with my mother, which I have not interfered with. My mother sent her some writings of mine via email, I felt, trying to reconcile us. I wrote my friend and apologized for my mother doing this. As my friend had accused me of being controlling, I didn't want her to feel that either my mother or I were in any way trying to manipulate her. She responded more warmly than I expected and said she was no longer upset with me, so I apologized for getting upset during our discussion, and patiently clarified a few things, trying to open the way for future dialogue, and she reiterated that I had been controlling and abusive in our previous discussion. Since I did not believe I had been, indeed believe that I had bent over backwards to patiently explain and entreat, I was offended and fed up and walked away. But it hurts alot...
Yes, I am aware of Christ's role in Christianity. I was once born again. Unfortunately, Christianity did not fit well with me, partly due to the abuse I mentioned in my original post. But I do thank the folks who have responded here, because I have not felt judged, and that is good. Thanks again, Chris!
So a life in Christ is not a "try, see if you like it, then accept or reject Christ" type of association - that is merely religion, whereby one can choose to find a belief system or philosophy that fits in with our beliefs. Christianity - pure Christianity from the Bible speaks of a complete inward change that then pursues the things of God in spite of personal conflicts & challenges along the way. So Claudia, please don't give up on Christ - in spite of your past & even distresses of the present, Christ is your (& our) only Hope for this life & that which is to come. As Jesus is ready to forgive us completely,without partiality or condemnation, it is my hope & prayer that you will find both this Love of Christ in your heart & life & also the love & full acceptance of your friend.
I hope the responses you've received so far have been useful & I thank you for yours to me giving further detail to the most recent 'outburst'. Of course, not hearing your friend's side of this sad account, I can only discern from what you have shared here. Your friend appears to be somewhat 'highly strung' in her changing moods & rhetoric. As others have shared or intimated, Christians may be a forgiven people but certainly God has still to do a lot more work in us. I'm only sad that you're not seeing a better example of Christ-likeness & by your forgiving her & God's Work in her, she may be able to see herself more clearly.
We have a relative (a lady about your age) who is gay, though never suffering childhood abuse as you have. Her story sounds similar to yours, in that she once was quite a vibrant Christian, but was 'put off' by the attitudes & hypocrisies she saw in her family & Christians generally & felt better served to follow her sexual orientation & indeed go right over to the other side & pursue the Hindu philosophy. She is now quite an active Hindu & turned completely away from anything of Christ. Of course, I can't comment on your 're-birth' experience, as it's something personal between God & yourself, but I do know that if we are born again, then it's a complete spiritual change (not physical) done by God for all time. If one such as yourself should also then have to 'fit in' your sexual orientation in that Work of God, then God certainly will speak, guide & counsel you about it. It will be a struggle, as there are struggles in each of us who may have been given over to behaviour that is inconsistent with God's requirements, but we pursue godliness to please the One Who has brought light into our once dark souls.
It is hard, because we live in a homophobic society, and there is a tendency for some Christians to be very condemning of gay people, which makes it difficult to separate the feelings of those Christians from the God they serve, and therefore, hard to feel that love you allude to. But I'm going to pray to God that He send me that love that I can feel. Thank you again, Rick!
Hi Claudia. Thank you for coming on here; I hope you get other comments. I can see that you've maintained your relationship with your friend over many years, so in spite of her views on your sexual orientation & her firm stance, you have been gracious enough to overlook her shortcomings & hopeful for restoration. As you've not asked about the Christian/biblical viewpoint on homosexuality, I'll refrain, as you probably are well versed (ad nauseam) in this matter from your friend. However, I would say that even though God's Plan in creating man & woman is to live in a heterosexual monogamous union, those who have deviated from that, for whatever reason, are still human beings deserving of understanding, support & friendship, without ceaseless condemnation (Jesus didn't do it - nor should we).
You referred to her as an 'apologist'. I rather see her as standing firm on her beliefs but not adequately (i.e. in a concerned methodical manner) dealing with it in your presence. To defend one's belief requires a careful, systematic presentation & I don't think you received that, rather her attitude towards you has brought on irritation & helplessness in understanding her behaviour. And that grieves me. Though I do hope, that with your maturity (which I clearly notice), you will continue to forgive her for her lack of Christian 'spirit' in this matter. Sometimes, we can get quite fired up over our faith & stand on biblical values & teaching, that we can become insensitive to the other person's position & feelings. And this attitude of course, will do nothing to present the teachings & life of Christ in all its beauty to another. She knows your views on the matter & that in spite of it, you still value her friendship; in such a situation I would relish the opportunity to pursue & build upon that relationship, where I would be more understanding & the other person would be more willing to listen & consider God's Love & offer to her, as He has given to each of us.
After reading your post, I am led to respond in hopes that my answer will give you something to ponder on and consider. I took notice that you mentioned that you are not a Christian, and the fact that you are gay. While I strive to be a Christian, I am nonetheless human and prone to make poor choices when I allow myself to ignore the morals that God has implemented in me. No one is perfect, and that includes those who proclaim to be Christians. However, a true Christian cannot be racist, nor intentionally and willfully commit sin without having a guilty conscience. With that being said, I am not sure if your friend is truly a Christian, for only herself and God know the answer to that. So, to answer your question "What do you do when so-called Christians don't act very Christian?". The simple answer is there is nothing that you can do other than pray for them if you believe in God. Of course, you could always point out the fact that a true Christian does not hold hatred towards another, regardless of skin color. But this may be difficult to accomplish if you yourself are not a Christian.
I would like to comment on your statement regarding your not being a Christian yourself. But please keep in mind that I am not being judgemental or condemning you in any way, for I am not God, nor do I have that right. I am not sure if you have ever been educated on who Jesus Christ is, or if you have an understanding of what He represents, but I would encourage you to at least take a moment to research why He is so vital to the Christian. You see, it does not matter what you have done in the past, for it was the Blood Of Christ that can wash your sins away. When you accept Christ into your heart you become a child of God. Now that doesn't mean that you will be perfect, or that you won't on occasion face difficult times or make poor choices. But what it does mean is that you will begin to develop an inner desire to make better choices. Jesus Loves You!!!
But anyway, I do believe in God, and I can and indeed have prayed for her. I want to forgive, and that is my intention, but I have not gotten there yet. I have not spoken to her since October because I do think that she did feel guilty, and rather than disavow, or at least take time to mull it over, she blamed me, and later doubled down when I tried to reach out a little. I don't relish being treated like that again. It's a shame, because I love and miss her. But I can't stomach this part of her.
But anyway, Andrew, I thank you for your thought-provoking and kind response to me.
Thank you for your reply, Andrew, I actually replied some of what I wanted to say to you, to Chris.
I used to actually be Born Again. But that was not a good fit for me, for many reasons, including my sexual orientation, and a long history of abuse with my stepfather. Nonetheless, I am very familiar with Christianity, and did study the Bible in my 20's when I identified as Born Again. This was the 80's and many Christians I had experience with were very offensive to me as a gay woman, a real turnoff.
I still struggle with the amount of animus that is directed at gay people by some people who identify as Christians. I understand that Christianity considers homosexuality as a sin. And I recognize that to Christians all sin is sin. But it is hard for me to look at it that way. To me, it is strange. Two consenting adults loving one another is "bad", but it is OK for some to rationalize slavery. My friend said to me, "Well, Claudia, do you know that back in the day, black people had slaves? Do you know black people sold one another into slavery? At one time or another, all races have had it bad (!). Are you aware of Morgan Freeman's views on racism?" Now, back in the day, my friend made homophobic statements such as "Homosexuality is a gross sin in the eyes of God and AIDS is the punishment.". That statement was circa 1986. She has disavowed her homophobia and apologized for saying those kind of things to me, and we did quite well for five years. But the above racist/apologist statements are things she said to me this fall, after the summer of BLM protests. When I read them, I just ask myself what the point was of her disavowing the homophobia, when it doesn't seem like she learned anything from it? And when I told her how much her racist/apologist statements offended me, she apologized, but when I pointed out those same statements would offend POC, she not only didn't apologize, she doubled down on them!
I want to thank everyone who responded to me. You have all given me alot to think about.
I apologize, I see that some of my comments may have offended or misled some, so I want to clarify. I had no intention to attempt to contradict or discredit the Bible or Christianity. I only was trying to say that at this time and place in my life, it was not for me. I wasn't trying to come onto a Biblical site and criticize the Bible, Christianity or Christians. I was at one time, a Christian. I am no longer because that particular religion was not compatible for me and so I left. And because I was not treated well back in tbe day by some who identified as Christians.
I came on this site because I saw it advertised on television as a place where people could come together and talk about issues that divide us and find reconciliation. I was trying to figure out if it was possible to salvage a friendship that had been heartbreakingly fractured by some of the events of the day, especially racism. I mentioned my sexual orientation to give the context that this friend did not just come out with a prejudice randomly; she had a history of prejudicial behavior and this was part of why I was upset. I received some very helpful responses and some understanding and I thank those who gave them. Thank you very much and God bless.
If someone comes to a Bible site and publicly posts that they disagree with its teachings or think the Bible is wrong for this or that reason, then that can be offensive and judgmental to the many who respect its teachings. One must question the true motives of someone coming to a Bible website who then tries to discredit the Bible.
The Bible says the act of homosexuality is a sin. That isn't an opinion. That is what the Bible says in its text in several places: Link - is someone a Bible follower or a Bible-denier? Is someone a Christ follower (Christian) or a Christ denier?
So, the act is morally wrong and a sin. Just because someone has desires for something doesn't mean he must act on it. People regularly have all kinds of desires for sin, because sin is made attractive. Satan loves to dangle sin in front of our faces, but that doesn't mean we must engage in that sin. People also make a logical fallacy of identifying oneself as this or that, as if that somehow justifies sin. No, identifying oneself as a certain label doesn't make sin ok. i.e. I'm a robber, so robbing others is ok. I'm a player, so having affairs is ok, etc. on and on. It's all the same old, tired tricks that satan plays over and over, but they keep working to deceive people.
God calls everyone to be loving. Love people, despite their flaws. Loving doesn't mean to condone sin and it doesn't mean an excuse to commit sin, however. That's a logical fallacy, false assumption and a deception from satan. Sin is sin. God will judge our actions. Sometimes people pretend to be a victim for being called out on sin. Sometimes that feeling is actually guilt from deep-down knowing what one is doing is morally wrong and evil in God's eyes. The Bible is very clear on this subject and it will not be watered down to make someone feel better about their own sin.
I'm praying for you sweetie. I'm praying that the LOVE of God will so envelope you, that you won't be able to do anything other than submit to truth.
The truth of the matter is that, nothing you've done can separate you from His LOVE.
Adam told you the truth, yet in all of that and in all that my brothers and sisters have shared with you the main thing is.....God loves you and desires your heart! As long as you have breathe in your body, you can run back to him!
Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and NONE of us can come to God except by him.
My heart connects with what you are expressing about your friend. I too lost a close friend dealing with some of those same issues. I made the decision not to rekindle the friendship although I still love and care about her.We are both Christians. Life happens to us all,stuff happens to us all.
When you're dealing with a deep wound like that, it just takes time. We have to sometimes repent all day long for what we're feeling and what were saying about it but you can continually ask God to help you with your feelings and emotions. He's faithful and He loves you. All of us continue to fall short and Jesus is still at the right hand of God, making intercession for us.
Whetever you are dealing with, sexual orientation or whatever it is.....you can still go to God. He knew before the foundation of the world that YOU would have these issues.He understands and He's made a way, through the Blood of Jesus.
Each one of us will give account for what we decided to do with Jesus. I encourage you to run to God again and talk with Him about it ALL my friend.
Your heart is precious to Him and your life is priceless to Him.
This comment thread is locked. Please enter a new comment below to start a new comment thread.
Note: Comment threads older than 2 months are automatically locked.
Do you have a Bible comment or question?
Please Sign In or Register to post comments...
Report Comment
Which best represents the problem with the comment?