Verse 30 suggests that the Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. I think fearing the Lord might be the first step to these other fine characteristics.
Proverbs 31 are instructions of a wise Mother to her son King Lemuel (we believe, it refers to Solomon; Lemuel may have been a name given as a 'pet name' or because of its meaning: "from God, belonging to God). So coming from a Mother to her son as instructions concerning his rule, his judgements & choice of women, gives this dialogue that very personal touch. Verses 10-31 may be wise words coming from a Mother to her son, but may not always be wise words from a husband to his wife. Unless your wife has so enquired about this passage or about this subject, you may have a difficult time sharing with her from these verses & not expect some flak.
Proverbs 31:3-9 are Mother's words to Solomon concerning a wholesome righteous rule: not given to an immoderate love for women (he failed here as you know) (v 3); not given to strong drink (vv 4-7) ; & to judge righteously (vv 8,9).
Proverbs 31:10-31 are the traits that a mother-in-law would expect her son to seek after in a 'virtuous wife'. Anything less than these would not get her approval & I sincerely doubt whether any of Solomon's 700 wives & 300 concubines fulfilled this criteria either. Bearing in mind that much of the descriptions given here are what was expected of a subservient wife in a male dominated home & society, so the necessary modifications need to be made when sharing with today's woman.
The wife should exemplify virtue & wisdom (vv 10,26,29). She can be fully trusted (in both household & financial matters) (vv 11,12). She is a hard worker, rising early, sleeping late (vv 13-19,24,27). Her honourable, God-fearing stance will be noticed before any outward beauty (vv 25,30). What traits you find here that are also in your wife should be emphasized - a listening appreciative ear is almost a guarantee. Hopefully, she will learn of what God looks for in women.
As well, both the apostles Paul & Peter give their description of godly women ( 1 Timothy 2:9,10 & 1 Peter 3:1-5) which you might find useful.
Proverbs 31:3-9 are Mother's words to Solomon concerning a wholesome righteous rule: not given to an immoderate love for women (he failed here as you know) (v 3); not given to strong drink (vv 4-7) ; & to judge righteously (vv 8,9).
Proverbs 31:10-31 are the traits that a mother-in-law would expect her son to seek after in a 'virtuous wife'. Anything less than these would not get her approval & I sincerely doubt whether any of Solomon's 700 wives & 300 concubines fulfilled this criteria either. Bearing in mind that much of the descriptions given here are what was expected of a subservient wife in a male dominated home & society, so the necessary modifications need to be made when sharing with today's woman.
The wife should exemplify virtue & wisdom (vv 10,26,29). She can be fully trusted (in both household & financial matters) (vv 11,12). She is a hard worker, rising early, sleeping late (vv 13-19,24,27). Her honourable, God-fearing stance will be noticed before any outward beauty (vv 25,30). What traits you find here that are also in your wife should be emphasized - a listening appreciative ear is almost a guarantee. Hopefully, she will learn of what God looks for in women.
As well, both the apostles Paul & Peter give their description of godly women ( 1 Timothy 2:9,10 & 1 Peter 3:1-5) which you might find useful.
Thank you for your response it was greatly appreciated and clear
God bless
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