You sound broken and this is the first step to asking forgiveness. Ask Christ Jesus in humility and sorrow to cover this sin with His blood and He will forgive you and you must believe it is done. There is no condemnation with faith in Christ that He died and rose again to show us the path to a relationship with Him. Don't give a foothold to devils to keep throwing guilt at you. Repent, walk away from the past and do this sin no more. If it plagues you to not leave it, then ask Christ Jesus to send His Holy Spirit to help you to stay clear of it. So long as you are reading Gods Word & praying to Christ to use you for His Will, you will begin to live spiritually and nothing that happens on earth has any bearing on this focus of The Kingdom of God. And that is what a new creature in Christ focuses on. Bringing others to Christ so they too will be in Gods Kingdom. The Spiritual relationship with Christ is the answer to overcoming the sins in the flesh! God Bless You!
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