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King James Bible
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I will tell a part of my full testimony. My salvation was akin to Pauls on the Damascus road. Later, after all the getting free from spiritual warfare; I would hear accusations against me in my mind, about sins, hating my ex, having hurtful thoughts; hating myself. People who told me to my face that anyone as bad as I had been could not possibly be saved. I didn't FEEL worthy. I thought I would let Jesus off the "hook". I saw a vision of Him on the cross but it was laying on the ground. I picked up a big rock and started hitting the nails in his hands. He was looking in my eyes ( that were streaming in tears.). Every time I hit him, He said, I Love You. I couldn't hurt Him anymore. I felt his arms around me. I woke.
I gave him all I had ever been or done; all the memories of sin that hurt like a crown of thorns. Maybe it was faith but I asked Him to erase all the memories of sin from me. He did it. Those memories are just gone. Who I had been, was buried.
I had to learn new things, like the joy of my Salvation.
In my experience, the Holy Spirit is not an authoritarian that frowns when we miss the mark, Don't learn faster, don't look like other Christians that seem to have it all figured out. That's not Him. If we give all our preconceived perceptions of Him, TO HIM; He gives us the new Life of a beloved child of God. You can have as much of heaven, NOW, as you give yourself freedom to take. "Taste and see the Goodness of the Lord." YOU are why He went to the Cross. He looked all the way forward 2000 years and saw your face.
Give Him your life (alpha, omega), and you take His Life .... as in cutting a covenant.
Then as His Bride, Song of Solomon 6:3, 7-10;
, 22:-26, I am the Lord: they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me!
There is no gender in this thought. He is YOUR beloved.
Draw closer to Him and He will draw closer to you. You can have as much love as you are able to hold.
A time to mourn; a time to dance. Selah.
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