Remember my husband and I we are seriously struggling with our marriage. He has said things to me that has effected my self esteem and I have had problems like that in my past with my family and childs father. Only to marry a man that has offended me in that area. We go to town watch tv or even be around fam and church fam of all the women we be around I feel less than.. I don't have the shape they have or dress like those etc.. I can't help but think of words he has directed toward me not In fussing but just general talk.. i feel like he was selfish and carnal around that time but even thou I can tell he's trying to grow in the Lord these things still hurt and effect our relationship..Theres times I feel self conscious around the man I love. I love my husband and I wouldn't want a divorce. But I am tired of feeling that pain I feel when we get around other woman. He says he loves me and that I'm beautiful but those thoughts are very painful y'all. Cause I always looked at marriage a beautiful sacred thing and love each other beyond physical and being able to be your self with EVERYTHING . So please please please pray for us that we will get past this and do a work for the Lord. He's actually a preacher and I just was called as well.. I know God has called us to do something great for him. We both know the way . The old paths.. I have prayed and still are praying.. thank y'all
Indeed we shall, God's child. The Bible reminds us ( 1 Cor 12:26), that "when one member (of Christ's Church) suffer, all members suffer with it". So your pain & inability to deal with this situation is felt & so we will pray.
It is particularly sad that he also preaches from the Word of God, so we can only trust the Spirit to convict him as he meditates on the Word. It is also such a sad thing, when there are so many men in particular, who seem to overlord it over others; and the more painful, if this happens in holy marriage. This is a nasty characteristic that could show a deficiency in their own understanding or appreciation of themselves, or even if they have been dominated in earlier years, & so the response is now an overbearing, superior attitude over others to compensate.
He may not even be aware that he is doing it to you or that his behaviour is affecting you so badly, but if he wants to take his marriage seriously, he needs to deal with this issue in himself first. Anyway, I'm sure a good Christian counsellor or mature Pastor/elder will be able to help him & you work through all this. Is your husband approachable in this matter? Will he talk it over with you or a Christian counsellor? Is he even aware of your hurt feelings? I'm not asking for answers here, just questions for you to consider.
And you shouldn't allow your self-esteem to diminish due to his behaviour or in your presence with others. We are the Lord's purchased possession, & you have qualities & inner beauty from God not seen in so many others. ( Prov 31:10, 25, 26, 30; 1 Pet 3:2-4, are a few Scriptures to show the true beauty that God looks for & blesses). Commit all these matters to the Lord, as I'm sure you are, & let the Beauty of the Lord fill you & your husband's vision, that he might have a Heavenly perspective & not of the Earth or himself. May the Lord help you mightily as you daily trust Him.
Hello, I will pray for you and I'm sure others who visit this page will do the same. Thank you for taking the risk to share your prayer request. The only thing I don't understand is this:
"He says he loves me and that I'm beautiful but those thoughts are very painful y'all."
Your husband saying he loves you and thinks you're beautiful is a 10/10 positive comment. All wives wish their own husbands would say that to them and yours has, so that is amazingly positive. So, in the event you interpret those positive things as being 'painful' then I would seek some counseling to dive into exactly why you interpret it that way. If maybe you meant that he said those positive things despite other negative things then that would make more sense for why you would still feel hurt from other unresolved matters which still need to be expressed and dealt with. May God bless you...
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It is particularly sad that he also preaches from the Word of God, so we can only trust the Spirit to convict him as he meditates on the Word. It is also such a sad thing, when there are so many men in particular, who seem to overlord it over others; and the more painful, if this happens in holy marriage. This is a nasty characteristic that could show a deficiency in their own understanding or appreciation of themselves, or even if they have been dominated in earlier years, & so the response is now an overbearing, superior attitude over others to compensate.
He may not even be aware that he is doing it to you or that his behaviour is affecting you so badly, but if he wants to take his marriage seriously, he needs to deal with this issue in himself first. Anyway, I'm sure a good Christian counsellor or mature Pastor/elder will be able to help him & you work through all this. Is your husband approachable in this matter? Will he talk it over with you or a Christian counsellor? Is he even aware of your hurt feelings? I'm not asking for answers here, just questions for you to consider.
And you shouldn't allow your self-esteem to diminish due to his behaviour or in your presence with others. We are the Lord's purchased possession, & you have qualities & inner beauty from God not seen in so many others. ( Prov 31:10, 25, 26, 30; 1 Pet 3:2-4, are a few Scriptures to show the true beauty that God looks for & blesses). Commit all these matters to the Lord, as I'm sure you are, & let the Beauty of the Lord fill you & your husband's vision, that he might have a Heavenly perspective & not of the Earth or himself. May the Lord help you mightily as you daily trust Him.
"He says he loves me and that I'm beautiful but those thoughts are very painful y'all."
Your husband saying he loves you and thinks you're beautiful is a 10/10 positive comment. All wives wish their own husbands would say that to them and yours has, so that is amazingly positive. So, in the event you interpret those positive things as being 'painful' then I would seek some counseling to dive into exactly why you interpret it that way. If maybe you meant that he said those positive things despite other negative things then that would make more sense for why you would still feel hurt from other unresolved matters which still need to be expressed and dealt with. May God bless you...
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