Daniel, I'm sad to hear of your unhappy situation & I assume there is no possibility of reconciliation even getting the help of the Church to mediate for both of you?
Scripture is clear on this subject, that once a marriage takes place & then a divorce or permanent separation occurs, then neither of them can re-marry & must remain unmarried. The reason for this is that God recognizes marriage as binding & if a couple separate, they are still bound to God's Law. (see Mk 10:6-12). I appreciate that this is a very difficult situation & many people including Christians, put aside God's requirements to satisfy their need for love & companionship. As an elder, your position in this matter & responsibility in the Church is very important, not only for your obedience to God, but for an example to your congregation. They would know your situation & maybe your difficulty in remaining alone & looking after two sons but they will also be watching your life & the decisions you make. God will give you His Strength & His Companionship as you honour Him in your obedience.
Daniel does not say if this was a separation or a divorce. But if it were a divorce, and it was for the cause of fornication on the wife's part, would he be free to marry then? I know she would not be, but what about him? Your thoughts, please!
So how does God treat such sin? My sense in this is that He treats it as any other sin. Is one sin greater than another, considering that even the 'smallest' sin of impatience or bending the truth, makes us sinners & disqualifies us from Heaven? But thanks be to Him, for His forgiveness to us for ALL our sins. Then if one chooses to remarry while the other spouse is still alive (& enter into an adulterous relationship with another), then God would forgive, but He only knows what the may be the consequence of that decision & relationship.
Please note: my dots shown in my first comment represent Greek words for fornication & adultery, which this Site's checker deems are Words not allowed. But they are different words that are use to describe the different relationships in different settings.
Chris, thank you so much for your perspective. I guess I'm still on the fence with this one. My understanding is that God hates divorce. Therefore, it should be avoided at all costs. You touch on some key things, and I think forgiveness is most important. I think of so many different variables when it comes to divorce, and then about the one thing where God allows it and I guess that is why in my mind I am not fully persuaded yet about remarriage. I don't disagree with anything you are saying. I mean, how could I disagree, if I can't even agree with myself yet! I understood your dots. As soon as I saw the word fornication, the Greek word popped in my mind. I've actually learned to read Koine Greek over the years. I do have a copy of the Textus Receptus, which I enjoy reading from on occasion.
Jesse, thanks for your comments; they are appreciated knowing of course, no two people can agree on everything, especially when dealing with such matters which also must include our own experiences in life being factored in.
Yes, I agree that God's forgiveness is paramount here, or else, as the disciples enquired of the Lord, "who then can be saved?" ( Mt 19:25), when enquiring about who could get to Heaven. However, when as Christians we commit a single, maybe isolated sin, we find instantaneous conviction & hopefully take the needed action. I wonder how it would work if one, who knows that an adulterous relationship is about to be entered into, or for that matter, any sin (e.g. a union with someone in something illegal or a lifestyle that is tainted with things which God would frown upon), that the long term effects would be something one would have to live with (or else, break off), & then would he/she have to come daily before the Lord for forgiveness?
I would find that so burdensome & hypocritical, that it could be more than I could bear. And to state, & I believe if I give some opinion/determination on some matter, then I must needs perform it in my life. If I had to face the awful prospect of an unhappy marriage & divorce, would I then be able to practise what I instruct others from the Word? If this happened in my marriage, yes, I would then need to remain single for the rest of my days but I would also know the Spirit's Help & sustaining through it. How important for believers to weigh up every matter in their lives before the Lord before deciding & pursuing it. It is often better to show restraint, than to 'rush the Hand of God' in something we feel is right & from the Lord. I guess, 'easier said than done'. May He give us more of His Grace.
We're not under the law. Find proof in Matthew chapter 5. Jesus was teaching that some basic principals were still in force.
If either one is cheating sexually then grounds for divorce are established. Men are not held less accountable.
If the man is violently beating his wife she can leave the marriage. Christians are called to be at PEACE. Also, as much as is possible be at peace with everyone.
If a legal separation or divorce results, the Bible mentions a time for reconciliation. Ecclesiastes...rend and mend.
If divorce happens and no reconciliation, The mother of the children is best off raising her kids alone till they're of majority. Don't tell the kids "who caused the divorce"; it only causes problems. Keep it secret.
If she remarries she needs to NOT ALLOW the stepfather to act as if the children are biologically his. It causes problems. If kids need correction, then the mother administers it. Husband supports her decisions. Kids are geniuses at playing insecure parents against each other.
If you can't accomplish that, then ladies do not marry again till kids are launched.
I may not be Dr Phil but this way WORKS. We are Christians. Dr Phil ministers the world principals, to the world. Worldly people are clueless about Gods Word.
Jesse, I agree that Daniel has not clarified whether a formal divorce from his wife is in place. I assume that there is at least a permanent separation (it has been a year since this took place). So I suggested that mediation & reconciliation be attempted in the first instance, if it is separation that has occurred.
If a divorce, then I understand that both parties are to remain unmarried because of one of God's bases of creation ( Mt 19:3-9) & therefore God doesn't recognize divorce, as both man & wife are one unit (= one flesh) before Him & divorce will break that union ( Lk 16:18). That is, the first marriage is still valid & a divorce makes it adultery. The only way a marriage can be broken is because of the death of one spouse.
Then the matter: what if the man didn't want a divorce, but the wife left him? Or, he had to leave her because of her fornication? For the first question, we're talking about divorce, where the implication is that, even if the man didn't want it, he would still need to give his assent to it, or else divorce cannot legally occur. Even in this instance, the man would need to remain unmarried (or vice versa if it was the wife that didn't want a divorce). Or (2nd question), if for her fornication ( Mt 5:32;15:19) : the word used is '.....' = sex prior to the marriage (i.e. if that act was committed before the lawful marriage to the man); e.g. ( Mt 1:19); Joseph considered 'unhitching' from Mary because of her supposd infidelity ('.....'). Whereas the word '.....' = adulterous relationship is within the bonds of wedlock. Any union with another after the first union has been recognized & consummated, is regarded as divorce, which God does not recognize. (see following comment).
I agree with most of your comment. God hates divorce. Joseph considered to put Mary away privately. To do otherwise she would be stoned for the sin of uncleaness.
Lately I have heard more stories about women and their children being beaten bad enough to be hospitalized; rape; incest. Husbands leaving for another man. No. I do not believe God wants a woman to endure that kind of abuse. Nor do I believe she should forfeit her whole life because of a bad marriage.
I do agree that people get married without even knowing that person. They bring all this misery on themselves. They believe Hollywood over real life. Premarital counseling needs to become popular again; if not taught in High School.
Ditto with reading the Bible. Bible was kicked out of public school in 1962. We are reaping the harvest now. Or should I say whirlwind? Our present culture is wide screen, living color, representation of a life lived without Gods love.
We need more mercy in helping these people. Where the heck was the Church in 1962 ? I was 11 and I remember saying the Lords prayer and pledge of allegiance to the FLAG every morning. Kids nowadays have nothing to guide them in public school.
Pray about these things. If the Holy Spirit does not confirm, then so be it.
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After she left and now it's one year.
I have two sons left with me.
Am an elder church ,.
My question is that, canine marry another wife?
Scripture is clear on this subject, that once a marriage takes place & then a divorce or permanent separation occurs, then neither of them can re-marry & must remain unmarried. The reason for this is that God recognizes marriage as binding & if a couple separate, they are still bound to God's Law. (see Mk 10:6-12). I appreciate that this is a very difficult situation & many people including Christians, put aside God's requirements to satisfy their need for love & companionship. As an elder, your position in this matter & responsibility in the Church is very important, not only for your obedience to God, but for an example to your congregation. They would know your situation & maybe your difficulty in remaining alone & looking after two sons but they will also be watching your life & the decisions you make. God will give you His Strength & His Companionship as you honour Him in your obedience.
Daniel does not say if this was a separation or a divorce. But if it were a divorce, and it was for the cause of fornication on the wife's part, would he be free to marry then? I know she would not be, but what about him? Your thoughts, please!
So how does God treat such sin? My sense in this is that He treats it as any other sin. Is one sin greater than another, considering that even the 'smallest' sin of impatience or bending the truth, makes us sinners & disqualifies us from Heaven? But thanks be to Him, for His forgiveness to us for ALL our sins. Then if one chooses to remarry while the other spouse is still alive (& enter into an adulterous relationship with another), then God would forgive, but He only knows what the may be the consequence of that decision & relationship.
Please note: my dots shown in my first comment represent Greek words for fornication & adultery, which this Site's checker deems are Words not allowed. But they are different words that are use to describe the different relationships in different settings.
Yes, I agree that God's forgiveness is paramount here, or else, as the disciples enquired of the Lord, "who then can be saved?" ( Mt 19:25), when enquiring about who could get to Heaven. However, when as Christians we commit a single, maybe isolated sin, we find instantaneous conviction & hopefully take the needed action. I wonder how it would work if one, who knows that an adulterous relationship is about to be entered into, or for that matter, any sin (e.g. a union with someone in something illegal or a lifestyle that is tainted with things which God would frown upon), that the long term effects would be something one would have to live with (or else, break off), & then would he/she have to come daily before the Lord for forgiveness?
I would find that so burdensome & hypocritical, that it could be more than I could bear. And to state, & I believe if I give some opinion/determination on some matter, then I must needs perform it in my life. If I had to face the awful prospect of an unhappy marriage & divorce, would I then be able to practise what I instruct others from the Word? If this happened in my marriage, yes, I would then need to remain single for the rest of my days but I would also know the Spirit's Help & sustaining through it. How important for believers to weigh up every matter in their lives before the Lord before deciding & pursuing it. It is often better to show restraint, than to 'rush the Hand of God' in something we feel is right & from the Lord. I guess, 'easier said than done'. May He give us more of His Grace.
If either one is cheating sexually then grounds for divorce are established. Men are not held less accountable.
If the man is violently beating his wife she can leave the marriage. Christians are called to be at PEACE. Also, as much as is possible be at peace with everyone.
If a legal separation or divorce results, the Bible mentions a time for reconciliation. Ecclesiastes...rend and mend.
If divorce happens and no reconciliation, The mother of the children is best off raising her kids alone till they're of majority. Don't tell the kids "who caused the divorce"; it only causes problems. Keep it secret.
If she remarries she needs to NOT ALLOW the stepfather to act as if the children are biologically his. It causes problems. If kids need correction, then the mother administers it. Husband supports her decisions. Kids are geniuses at playing insecure parents against each other.
If you can't accomplish that, then ladies do not marry again till kids are launched.
I may not be Dr Phil but this way WORKS. We are Christians. Dr Phil ministers the world principals, to the world. Worldly people are clueless about Gods Word.
If a divorce, then I understand that both parties are to remain unmarried because of one of God's bases of creation ( Mt 19:3-9) & therefore God doesn't recognize divorce, as both man & wife are one unit (= one flesh) before Him & divorce will break that union ( Lk 16:18). That is, the first marriage is still valid & a divorce makes it adultery. The only way a marriage can be broken is because of the death of one spouse.
Then the matter: what if the man didn't want a divorce, but the wife left him? Or, he had to leave her because of her fornication? For the first question, we're talking about divorce, where the implication is that, even if the man didn't want it, he would still need to give his assent to it, or else divorce cannot legally occur. Even in this instance, the man would need to remain unmarried (or vice versa if it was the wife that didn't want a divorce). Or (2nd question), if for her fornication ( Mt 5:32;15:19) : the word used is '.....' = sex prior to the marriage (i.e. if that act was committed before the lawful marriage to the man); e.g. ( Mt 1:19); Joseph considered 'unhitching' from Mary because of her supposd infidelity ('.....'). Whereas the word '.....' = adulterous relationship is within the bonds of wedlock. Any union with another after the first union has been recognized & consummated, is regarded as divorce, which God does not recognize. (see following comment).
Lately I have heard more stories about women and their children being beaten bad enough to be hospitalized; rape; incest. Husbands leaving for another man. No. I do not believe God wants a woman to endure that kind of abuse. Nor do I believe she should forfeit her whole life because of a bad marriage.
I do agree that people get married without even knowing that person. They bring all this misery on themselves. They believe Hollywood over real life. Premarital counseling needs to become popular again; if not taught in High School.
Ditto with reading the Bible. Bible was kicked out of public school in 1962. We are reaping the harvest now. Or should I say whirlwind? Our present culture is wide screen, living color, representation of a life lived without Gods love.
We need more mercy in helping these people. Where the heck was the Church in 1962 ? I was 11 and I remember saying the Lords prayer and pledge of allegiance to the FLAG every morning. Kids nowadays have nothing to guide them in public school.
Pray about these things. If the Holy Spirit does not confirm, then so be it.
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