King James Bible
King James Version (KJV)
Testimony: Prodigal Son
Anonymous testimony "Prodigal Son" on 10/11/2015, 10:49pm...
I grew up in a Christian home. My dad was a preacher in fact. Growing up I was always rebellious. During my sophomore year my best friend who I grew up with, who I consider a brother, died in a four wheeler accident. This started a long dark path of depression. Soon after my dad got a new job which made my family move. I felt alone, I was too depressed to make friends, and I was the rebel in the family which meant I caused them a lot of pain and trouble, and caused our family to constantly be fighting.
My depression grew and I started to develop suicidal thoughts. I thought if I died no one would miss me anyway and my family would be happier. Instead, one day I decided to smoke weed with one of my neighbors. Now up until that point I always was very judgmental on drug users and people who drank. After smoking, I remember just laughing and feeling happy which I hadn't felt in over a year and decided that what I was doing couldn't be bad for me. Soon after I started drinking and smoking cigarettes, and started partying. Quickly I started needing more because it wasn't satisfying, so I started pill popping and taking LSD, then started doing even harder drugs. I became hooked on cocaine, Molly, and heroin.
By this point the "fun" I had by doing drugs had gone away and the suicidal thoughts started flooding back. I just did drugs at that point to make me numb to those horrible feelings of depression, I wanted to stop but I couldn't, it was the only thing I had the desire to do in my life. I saw what it was doing to my life, and I hated myself, I couldn't even look in the mirror. One day I sat out on my back porch and started thinking and I started to remember my Christian upbringing, and quickly tried to think of something else, I felt too guilty. I had always believed in God, and wanted to come back to him but I felt too guilty and felt like I needed to clean my life up before I could even step in the doors of a church left alone talk to God. So I kept doing my thing and would try to sober up but it always ended in failure after about 2 days.
One night I was driving home at about 3 in the morning and I broke down crying, and I said one simple prayer that changed my life forever, it was simple, I said, "God I need help, I can't do this, I need help." I thought God was going to strike me down, I mean how dare I? After everything I had done, who was I to ask for help after ignoring Him and doing everything I did to my family and destroying my life. Little did I know God is a loving God, and He doesn't turn away people seeking Him.
A few days later I butt-dialed my mom while snorting xanex bars and smoking weed. I knew I was getting kicked out, so I started asking friends for places to stay and got a lot of offers. My dad called me and told me to come home so I did, and when I got there he told me I was getting kicked out and that would be my last night there. I asked him what I was going to do. He told me that some close family friends of ours that went to the church I grew up in offered me a place to stay on there ranch in exchange for work. There would be no way on earth I would've said yes to that I was way to prideful and high to think clearly, but in that moment I felt something inside of me that desired for more in life and something that just brought me total peace and a sober mind and before I could even think about the option, the words yes came out of my mouth.
The next day I left and went to my new home, and started going to church, during the sermon every word the pastor spoke just stuck in my head, and I felt like the pastor knew I was coming that day and was talking directly to me. About two and a half weeks of working through pain and withdrawals, I finally experienced something I was looking for my whole life but couldn't find, peace. I was alone digging up a tree stump when I just started praying and pouring my heart out to God. I told God that I was tired of living for myself and from now on I'm going to live for Him, that I was going follow Him no matter what the cost or what He wanted me to do. I came to a point of repentance and realized I needed a savior. And in that moment I filled with peace and joy and true satisfaction. I was saved!!! And in that moment God blessed me, he took away all my withdrawals and pain, he took away the depression I carried for years and gave me a desire to live and passion.
Since then I have been blessed with opportunities to show what God has done in my life and how he continues to work in my life, and opportunities to share my testimony in front of groups of people. He also gave me a new relationship with my dad. Since I have been saved me and my Dad talk more on the phone everyday than we ever did the entire time we lived together. My dad even told me that although he sees me as a son he also sees me as a friend now and through the power of God we are close friends now. I used to think that I had to be perfect and had to earn God's love, but God showed me something entirely different, God doesn't want you to try and earn His love, He wants you to come as you are. I am a living testimony of the prodigal son. After just one cry of desperation for God, He moved heaven and earth to bring me to where I am today. He has the power to do the same for anyone who calls on Him. Sorry this was long I just get excited when talking about God and get carried away. God bless!