King James Bible
King James Version (KJV)
Testimony: I Thought I Had It All
Amanda's testimony "I Thought I Had It All" on 10/30/2014, 8:03am...
I grew up in a very loving Christian home. My parents were the best parents anybody could ever ask for. I grew up in a very hardworking middle classes family. Attended small country churches all of my life. As a 7 year old girl I was saved. I loved Jesus with all my heart. I sang in church all of my life and I was raised around some very Godly people. When I turned 16, I met my one day to be husband. I was completely inlove with him. He was also a born again Christian raised in church all of his life. We married when I was 19, he was 20. We bought a little house and fixed it up. We were happy as could be.
We joined a church where we loved the pastor, but it was very legalistic and very soon I found myself miserable. My husband one one side and me in the other. He couldn't see how people were treating me. Then one day something snapped in my mind. I thought it was depression just from everything going on. My grandmother passed away a few months following our wedding, I quit my job and circumstances out of my control kept me from getting another one for 6 weeks. I had a hard time leaving home, so everything together I thought was just depression but it never seemed to get better. I cried constantly, I felt like my husband didn't really love me, I was unsure of my salvation, unsure of absolutely everything in my life.
I started having suicidal thoughts. I pleaded with God that if he wasn't gonna make it better to just let me die. I prayed and prayed with no answer. One day I finally gave up and decided I was going to a doctor to get on meds. I had to have relief.
The doctor counselled me and even prayed with me. I started the medication. I became numb. On most days I wasn't really sad but I wasn't happy. I just felt numb. After a solid year of this fight one Sunday morning I woke up almost sick at the thought of going to this legalistic church full of Pharisees but to try to avoid another huge fight with my husband I got up and went.
While listening to the sermon a realization came to me that I knew if I left that day with no help that I would not make it thru the next week. I got up and went to the altar absolutely broken.
I left it all there that day. I had no other hope, no other answer except to fully and completely give it to The Lord. I could feel that weight completely lifted from me. I'm crying typing this because this is something you never forget. God didn't have to do that for me that day, but he did. When I got up off that altar I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would never feel that again. He healed me! My life changed, my marriage put back together, my relationship with God had never been stronger.
Looking back I can see that all of that dark valley was just for me! I'm so thankful for it now! I'm thankful for that church, I'm thankful for those hateful women that spoke to me cruel, I'm thankful for a husband that didn't understand me because all of that led me straight to Jesus! Thst day I knew that he knew my name and that he was all I needed! Everything falls into place when you put him first. We have been married now almost 13 years. We have two little boys and the best church I'm pretty sure this side of heaven! God proved so much to me thru that and it took that for him to show me who he is and his power. Satan would've loved to kill me BUT GOD.....