Testimony: God Knows What Is Best For Me.

Anonymous testimony "God Knows What Is Best For Me." on 3/27/2013, 2:32pm...

I was born and raised in a christian family with wonderful parents who love me unconditionally and a younger sister.I have wonderful relatives whom we always go to their house almost everyday since i was born and we all fellowship together. My dad is american,my mom chinese. I was born in the safest,strictest and smallest country in Asia. I attended a christian methodist girls primary and secondary school. Now im going to be 18 soon and am waiting to go to college in the usa this august. Finally im moving to the usa,hallelujah after years of preparation!!!!

Since I visited the united states when I was 5 years old,Ive always had this desire in me to live in the usa and I understand now that God gave me that vision so that I could have hope and use that as strength to do my best each day till I complete this season in life and go to college in the usa. Ive told myself everyday in school and when i was tired and needed to persevere through the disciplines of school life "I will get through this because I will finally go to the USA after I complete my O levels." So thats how i persevered and was happy through each day,knowing that all that effort and pain of discipline would be worth it when I reached the USA. It was so tough because I was so bored to tears in this country because i love beautiful scenery and wide open spaces but this country is the complete opposite of what I enjoyed and it was so hard because I had to learn patience and
discipline to wait years until I get to move to the USA. It was so hard that I cried so much because I was so frustrated that I couldnt go to the USA yet and had to wait very long. However during this time of discipline and strict preparation in my methodist girls primary and secondary school,I was always very determined from year 1 to year 11 that I would get through all this and go to college in the usa,so I knew my purpose from the beginning and was always bursting with excitement about me knowing im going to the usa after completing high school here. In my school all the teachers loved us and cared about us so much and we had chapel every week and morning devotion and singspiration everyday during assembly. I loved school so much.

When I was 15,suddenly one day I woke up and noticed a small round shadow in my left eye that can move around. Its called a 'floater.' I was shocked and my whole world was torn apart. I went through about 2 years of a tough time in my heart and emotions. I cried every night silently so my sis wouldnt hear me as we shared ths same room. I felt so weak in my heart and I was always so afraid because i was always scared that I would become blind or my eye would be pain. I was afraid and shocked after I got this floater. I was so afraid and so traumatized with fear thinking "why?! Why do I have this floater and what will happen?" that I cried every night. However, God gave me strength each morning for school and I always felt okay during school. Now i see that I was really paranoid then thinking that I would become blind. However the fear I had was so real to me and I was in shock for so long. I wanted a perfect vision as i always loved seeing beautiful scenery and wanted to enjoy that when i got to the usa but with a floater,it crushed my whole being and affected me so much...it really shook me and broke me down completely. I was without any strength and the shock,devastation,hurt and fear in my heart caused by the floater forced me to cry out to God for comfort and love....i just wanted God to hug me.

During the time up till I was 16 i didnt have a personal relationship with jesus....although i attended a christian school all my life, I didnt really know him at all...i had not understood who he was and I just did my own life. I had not understood bible verses and at that time I just thought it was because I was too young still and it was too profound and didficult to understand...that i would understand when i got older. Basically,I didnt know anything about jesus...i only knew that he loves us but i didnt know that i could have a real relationship with him here on earth.i thought it could happen only after i die and go to heaven. I did not think of eternity until jesus used the floater to break me down completely. He made me realize and gave me wisdom and understanding that now i see that everything in life can be taken away from you in just a second. I realize through the floater that life is so fragile and i needed a stronghold, a safe tower to keep me safe when everythingcomes crashing down and i found jesus. He saved me and everything he did to me was his plan to bring me closer to him so that i come to the realization that he is everything. He humbled me. And i am forever grateful to him for everything he's done for me up till now and for protecting me up till now so that i have never experienced any evil thing or harm from the world. He knows what is best for me and has shown me his goodness up till now. I have been really blessed to have travelled with my family for holiday every year to many different countries in the world like australia,china,new zealand,japan,hawaii and i just came back 2 days ago from an amazing celebration of my uncle's birthday in switzerland where we all went together and went to many places in switzerland by train.

I am so excited for my future to bring glory to God!!! He has kept me safe and sound my whole life and prepared me really well to move to the usa now and attend college and live there! Im so excited yay! The silver lining has finally appeared!! Im now getting to know jesus more and more and I live for him alone. I am after his heart. I want him and he is mine and I am his. I was created for him. Thank you jesus for creating me and dying on the cross for me. I desire to love you with all my heart soul mind and strength and want you to use me and hope others see you through my life. I wanna become more and more like jesus. Its all about jesus. I wanna know his love for me. I want to experience jesus and live in his presence. Im seeking jesus and will find him.

 

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